{"id":3953,"date":"2019-08-07T15:00:31","date_gmt":"2019-08-07T13:00:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/?p=3953"},"modified":"2024-11-21T15:07:09","modified_gmt":"2024-11-21T13:07:09","slug":"raporte-pa-kufinj","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/kritike\/raporte-pa-kufinj\/","title":{"rendered":"Raporte pa kufinj"},"content":{"rendered":"
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M\u00eb tregoi q\u00eb emrin ia ka l\u00ebn\u00eb nj\u00eb kush\u00ebri i af\u00ebrt. Tasht q\u00eb i \u00ebsht\u00eb afru viteve t\u00eb tridhjeta, i shkon dita duke u sqaru t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve pse nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb martu e se kur do t\u00eb vendos\u00eb. Gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb koh\u00ebs merr udh\u00ebzime, edhe pse asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk pyeti ask\u00ebnd q\u00eb t\u2019i jap\u00eb k\u00ebshilla.<\/p>\n

Merr konsultime prej prind\u00ebrve, kojshive, musafir\u00ebve, e kujtdo q\u00eb e takon sepse t\u00eb gjith\u00eb kan\u00eb di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr t\u2019i treguar se \u00e7far\u00eb duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb me jet\u00ebn e tij. T\u00eb gjith\u00eb e din\u00eb se \u00e7ka duhet t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb me jet\u00ebn e tij. Ve\u00e7 ai jo. Nd\u00ebrsa ata q\u00eb e din\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb, a thua a e din\u00eb se \u00e7ka duhet t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb me jet\u00ebn e tyre?!\u00a0 Ka mund\u00ebsi q\u00eb nuk e din\u00eb, sepse \u00ebsht\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb dikush tjet\u00ebr q\u00eb e di p\u00ebr ta dhe ua kujton vazhdimisht.<\/p>\n

\u00cbsht\u00eb problem ta gjesh fillimin e imponimeve q\u00eb reflektohet n\u00eb raportet tona nd\u00ebrpersonale. Si me njer\u00ebz t\u00eb af\u00ebrt ashtu edhe me t\u00eb larg\u00ebt. Jemi rrit\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb mjedis ku hap\u00ebsira personale nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e definuar. Ka raste kur kush\u00ebriri i larg\u00ebt ka t\u00eb drejt\u00eb ta em\u00ebroj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebn t\u00ebnd, kur prindi zgjedh se \u00e7ka duhet t\u00eb studiosh, e k\u00ebdo q\u00eb e takon merr hov t\u00eb k\u00ebshilloj\u00eb p\u00ebr \u00e7do aspekt t\u00eb mundsh\u00ebm t\u00eb jet\u00ebs.<\/p>\n

A nuk ndiheni sikurse keni nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb pushim nga k\u00ebto drama t\u00eb p\u00ebrditshme? Kemi nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb qasje kujdesi q\u00eb e respekton privat\u00ebsin\u00eb dhe hap\u00ebsir\u00ebn mes individ\u00ebve. Nj\u00eb qasje q\u00eb e thekson se imponimi i mendimeve t\u00eb pak\u00ebrkuara nuk i ndihmon askujt.<\/p>\n

Gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb koh\u00ebs hyjm\u00eb n\u00eb oborre t\u00eb nj\u00ebri tjetrit, duke projektuar pasigurit\u00eb e imagjinatat tona. E k\u00ebshtu kjo qasje e till\u00eb i b\u00ebn shum\u00eb njer\u00ebz t\u00eb jetojn\u00eb duke \u2018kontrolluar\u2019 apo duke \u2018u kontrolluar\u2019 nga t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. Edhe pse shpeshher\u00eb ky efekt ndodh n\u00eb p\u00ebrpjeke p\u00ebr t\u2019i ndihmuar t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve, ato vazhdojn\u00eb t\u00eb ndikojn\u00eb negativisht.<\/p>\n

I gjith\u00eb ky kujdes i shnd\u00ebrruar n\u00eb presion, imponim e k\u00ebshilla t\u00eb pak\u00ebrkuara, reflekton nj\u00eb problem q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb i dikush\u00ebm e q\u00eb ka t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb me raporte pa kufinj t\u00eb definuar. Psikolog\u00ebt, Black & Enns (1998) vler\u00ebsojn\u00eb se indikator\u00eb t\u00eb kufinjve t\u00eb sh\u00ebndetsh\u00ebm jan\u00eb, (1) kur mund t\u00eb lidhemi emocionalisht me t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt por duke e mos e harruar veten, (2) kur mund t\u2019u themi t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve \u2018jo\u2019 pa frik\u00eb se nuk do t\u00eb na duan m\u00eb, dhe (3) kur pranojm\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjje \u201cjo\u201d pa u t\u00ebrhequr emocionalisht.<\/p>\n

Me fjal\u00eb t\u00eb tjera, jemi t\u00eb vet\u00ebdijsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr gjendjen ton\u00eb mendore dhe e kemi t\u00eb qart\u00eb kur t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt shkelin limitet tona. Zakonisht, k\u00ebto veti duhet t\u00eb komunikohen dhe adaptohen qysh n\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri, por, ende ka shum\u00eb t\u00eb rritur q\u00eb duhet t\u2019i m\u00ebsojn\u00eb e riforcojn\u00eb tani.<\/p>\n

\u00cbsht\u00eb sfiduese ta gjesh fillimin e k\u00ebtij l\u00ebmshi t\u00eb imponimeve, por, \u00e7do p\u00ebrpjekje p\u00ebr t\u2019i p\u00ebrmir\u00ebsuar ato k\u00ebrkon angazhim individual. Duke u informuar dhe reflektuar rreth raporteve t\u00eb sh\u00ebndosha mund t\u2019i kuptojm\u00eb m\u00eb mir\u00eb dhe parandalojm\u00eb kaosin q\u00eb sjell mungesa e kufinjve.<\/p>\n

Paterna t\u00eb zakonshme t\u00eb thyerjes s\u00eb kufinjve<\/strong><\/p>\n

Disa shembuj t\u00eb tjer\u00eb t\u00eb thyerjes s\u00eb kufinjve t\u00eb hap\u00ebsir\u00ebs intelektuale e emocionale jan\u00eb kur merr p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi pse dikush nuk ndihet mir\u00eb edhe pse ti nuk e ke shkaktuar at\u00eb ndjesi. Pastaj, kur i sakrifikon d\u00ebshirat dhe planet e tua vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u2019i b\u00ebr\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt t\u00eb ndihen mir\u00eb. Kur nuk merr p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi por ua l\u00eb fajin t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve p\u00ebr problemet e tua, kur u tregon t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve si t\u00eb mendojn\u00eb e si t\u00eb ndihen.<\/p>\n

Shpeshher\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb e kam par\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn sesi ua qasemi njer\u00ebzve q\u00eb p\u00ebrjetojn\u00eb distres psikologjik. N\u00eb vend q\u00eb t\u2019i pyesim, t\u2019i l\u00ebm\u00eb hap\u00ebsir\u00eb t\u00eb shprehen dhe procesojn\u00eb ndjenjat e tyre, u japim k\u00ebshilla, mohojm\u00eb mendimet e validitetin e p\u00ebrjetimeve t\u00eb tyre. Kjo shukatje e p\u00ebrkohshme e faj\u00ebsim nuk e l\u00eb individin t\u00eb procesoj\u00eb emocionet e veta, por mundohet t\u2019i shtyp\u00eb ato.<\/p>\n

Pastaj, raportet pa vija t\u00eb qarta mundohen ta fshijn\u00eb vij\u00ebn e respektit dhe autononomis\u00eb mes \u00e7ifteve, koleg\u00ebve, familjar\u00ebve e kujtdo tjet\u00ebr.<\/p>\n

P\u00ebr shembull, kur n\u00ebna t\u00eb telefonon gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb dit\u00ebs, t\u00eb sigurohet p\u00ebr \u00e7do l\u00ebvizje e vendndodhje, kjo shpeshher\u00eb mund t\u00eb reflektoj\u00eb nj\u00eb munges\u00eb privat\u00ebsie e v\u00ebzhgimi abnormal. Mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb pasiguri e reflektuar, apo nj\u00eb ves i imponimit, e pjes\u00ebmarrjes aktive n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, pa njohur limite, hap\u00ebsira, e privat\u00ebsi q\u00eb \u00e7do individ ka nevoj\u00eb t\u2019i ket\u00eb. E sigurisht q\u00eb nuk i shkon mendja q\u00eb ky kontroll mund t\u2019i pengoj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, sepse kufinjt\u00eb e till\u00eb nuk jan\u00eb vendosur asnj\u00ebher\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Definimi i kufinjve<\/strong><\/p>\n

Aft\u00ebsia p\u00ebr t\u2019i definuar kufinjt\u00eb ndaj t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve vjen nga njoha e vetvetes dhe vler\u00ebsimi i vet\u00ebs, pa marr\u00eb parasysh ndjenjat apo emocionet q\u00eb na transmetohen nga t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt. Pa e kuptuar r\u00ebnd\u00ebsin\u00eb e vetes dhe sh\u00ebndetit ton\u00eb mendor, \u00ebsht\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u2019i definojm\u00eb e p\u00ebrcaktojm\u00eb k\u00ebto limite.\u00a0 Rreth zhvillimit t\u00eb individit n\u00eb aspektin shoq\u00ebror, kulturor, e qytetar kam shkruar\u00a0n\u00eb\u00a0shkrimin e m\u00ebhersh\u00ebm<\/a>. Sidoqoft\u00eb, p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjitha raportet nd\u00ebrshoq\u00ebrore, jan\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm kufinjt\u00eb intelektual\u00eb dhe emocional\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Vendosja e kufinjve \u00ebsht\u00eb e pamundur pa konfrontim dhe komunikim t\u00eb sinqert\u00eb. N\u00ebse dikush t\u00eb thot\u00eb, mos qaj, se nuk ke arsye p\u00ebr t\u00eb qar\u00eb, ky imponim shkel kufinjt\u00eb emocional\u00eb. N\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, hulumtimet tregojn\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb qarit e balancon trupin pas ndonj\u00eb eventi stresues. Kemikalet q\u00eb mblidhen gjat\u00eb ndonj\u00eb stresi emocional lirohen n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet t\u00eb qarit. Andaj, kur dikush mundohet t\u2019i ndaloj\u00eb p\u00ebrjetimin e emocioneve, mundohu, t\u2019i tregosh q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb rregull t\u2019i manifestosh emocionet e tua.<\/p>\n

Pra, her\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr kur dikush t\u00eb pyet se kur dhe pse nuk po martohesh, mund t\u2019ua reflektosh k\u00ebt\u00eb invazion t\u00eb hap\u00ebsir\u00ebs suaj personale. N\u00ebse pyetje e imponime t\u00eb ngjashme t\u00eb pengojn\u00eb, tregoji q\u00eb pyetje t\u00eb tilla jan\u00eb jasht\u00eb kufinjve tuaj. N\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb form\u00eb i forconi kufinjt\u00eb tuaj, por edhe edukoni personin q\u00eb t\u00eb ket\u00eb kujdes me imponimin e mendimeve t\u00eb tilla.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb fakt, ne nuk mund t\u2019i kontrollojm\u00eb reagimet e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve apo n\u00ebse t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt do t\u2019i thyejn\u00eb kufinjt\u00eb ton\u00eb. Por, gjithmon\u00eb e kemi rastin t\u2019u tregojm\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve kur thyejn\u00eb kufinjt\u00eb ton\u00eb, t\u00eb jemi t\u00eb vet\u00ebdijsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr gjendjen ton\u00eb emocionale, reagojm\u00eb, n\u00eb vend se t\u00eb biem pre e kontrollit t\u00eb tyre. Kufinjt\u00eb jan\u00eb sikurse dyert e sht\u00ebpis\u00eb. N\u00ebse nuk kujdesemi se kur duhet t\u00eb mbyllen apo hapen dyert, sht\u00ebpia mund t\u00eb rrezikohet e t\u00eb d\u00ebmtohet. Raportet nd\u00ebrpersonale do t\u00eb jen\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb t\u00eb sh\u00ebndosha kur kufinjt\u00eb jan\u00eb n\u00eb vendin e tyre.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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M\u00eb tregoi q\u00eb emrin ia ka l\u00ebn\u00eb nj\u00eb kush\u00ebri i af\u00ebrt. Tasht q\u00eb i \u00ebsht\u00eb afru viteve t\u00eb tridhjeta, i shkon dita duke u sqaru t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve pse nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb martu e se kur do t\u00eb vendos\u00eb. Gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb koh\u00ebs merr udh\u00ebzime, edhe pse asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk pyeti ask\u00ebnd q\u00eb t\u2019i jap\u00eb k\u00ebshilla. Merr konsultime prej […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":393,"featured_media":10602,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[1943,1942],"ppma_author":[387],"class_list":["post-3953","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kritike","tag-kufinjte","tag-raportet"],"authors":[{"term_id":387,"user_id":393,"is_guest":0,"slug":"albesa-aliu","display_name":"Albesa Aliu","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/123551507285907.jpg","url2x":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/11\/123551507285907.jpg"},"user_url":"","last_name":"Aliu","first_name":"Albesa","description":"Albesa Aliu ka studiuar Psikologji pran\u00eb Hellenic American University n\u00eb Athin\u00eb, Greqi. Ajo ka punuar n\u00eb fush\u00ebn qytetaris\u00eb aktive n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb duke iniciuar dhe udh\u00ebhequr programe rreth vullnetarizmit dhe avokimit, kryesisht n\u00eb Gjilan dhe Prishtin\u00eb. Tani \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb p\u00ebrfundim t\u00eb studimeve Masters me fokusim n\u00eb \u201cNd\u00ebrtim t\u00eb Paqes dhe Zhvillimit Bashk\u00ebpunues\u201d pran\u00eb Canadian Mennonite Univeristy n\u00eb Winnipeg, Canada."}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3953","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/393"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3953"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3953\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10603,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3953\/revisions\/10603"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10602"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3953"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3953"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3953"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=3953"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}