{"id":519,"date":"2015-11-09T12:26:09","date_gmt":"2015-11-09T12:26:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/?p=519"},"modified":"2025-01-16T12:25:04","modified_gmt":"2025-01-16T10:25:04","slug":"virgjiniteti-dhe-pacipesia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/opinion\/virgjiniteti-dhe-pacipesia\/","title":{"rendered":"Virgjiniteti dhe Pacip\u00ebsia"},"content":{"rendered":"

Ka nj\u00eb koh\u00eb q\u00eb jam ftuar t\u00eb shkruaj di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr Zejnepe Bytyqin, nj\u00eb grua e cila \u00ebsht\u00eb vrar\u00eb nga burri i saj n\u00eb Suharek\u00eb muajin q\u00eb shkoi. Nuk kam \u00e7ka shtoj m\u00eb shum\u00eb, p\u00ebr shkak se \u00e7ka kam p\u00ebr t\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb dhe st\u00ebrth\u00ebn\u00eb: t\u00eb gjitha statistikat dhe hulumtimet e mundshme n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb p\u00ebrshkruajn\u00eb nj\u00eb vend, ku grat\u00eb jan\u00eb duksh\u00ebm m\u00eb pak t\u00eb pun\u00ebsuara, m\u00eb t\u00eb varf\u00ebra, dhe n\u00eb mas\u00eb t\u00eb madhe, p\u00ebrjetojn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb dhun\u00eb sesa burrat e k\u00ebtij vendi. Shum\u00eb kosovar\u00eb jetojn\u00eb me nj\u00eb dhun\u00eb aq t\u00eb normalizuar, saq\u00eb shpeshher\u00eb edhe grat\u00eb e arsyetojn\u00eb dhun\u00ebn ndaj tyre (po referoj shifr\u00ebn fam\u00ebkeqe nga anketa MICS e Agjencionit t\u00eb Statistikave t\u00eb Kosov\u00ebs dhe UNICEF-it, ku\u00a042 p\u00ebrqind t\u00eb grave\u00a0<\/a>arsyetojn\u00eb dhun\u00ebn ndaj tyre n\u00eb disa rrethana). K\u00ebto t\u00eb dh\u00ebna jan\u00eb tregues i qart\u00eb i nj\u00eb sistemi vlerash i cili \u00ebsht\u00eb dehumanizues dhe mizor p\u00ebr grat\u00eb n\u00eb ve\u00e7anti, t\u00eb cilat p\u00ebrjetojn\u00eb d\u00ebmet kryesore t\u00eb k\u00ebtij sistemi. Fatkeq\u00ebsisht, edhe pse me vite t\u00eb t\u00ebra aktivist\u00eb n\u00ebp\u00ebr Kosov\u00eb flasin p\u00ebr realitetin alarmant q\u00eb paraqesin k\u00ebto t\u00eb dh\u00ebna, ato shpeshher\u00eb nuk rezultojn\u00eb n\u00eb ndryshim t\u00eb politikave, dhe as nuk raportohen n\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00ebsin\u00eb e tyre nga mediat.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn anket\u00eb, gati t\u00eb gjitha vajzat dhe grat\u00eb t\u00eb anketuara mes mosh\u00ebs 15-24 kan\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb se nuk kishin pasur asnj\u00ebher\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie seksuale.\u00a0KALLXO.com<\/a>\u00a0botoi nj\u00eb artikull specifikisht mbi k\u00ebto t\u00eb dh\u00ebna, t\u00eb cilat p\u00ebrb\u00ebjn\u00eb dy faqe t\u00eb anket\u00ebs n\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00ebsi. Intervistuan Besim Gollopenin,\u00a0nj\u00eb sociolog me publikime t\u00eb shumta<\/a>\u00a0n\u00eb fushen e planifikimit hap\u00ebsinor. N\u00eb bot\u00ebkuptimin ballkanik, natyrisht nuk b\u00ebh\u00ebn dallime midis n\u00ebnfushave t\u00eb sociologjis\u00eb. Nuk ka asnj\u00eb sociolog t\u00eb ftuar apo hulumtues, i cili \u00ebsht\u00eb marr\u00eb me sh\u00ebndetin seksual (sikur Visare Mujko Nimani, p\u00ebrfaq\u00ebsuesja e UNFPA-s n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb e cila me vite t\u00eb t\u00ebra hulumton sh\u00ebndetin seksual dhe riprodhues t\u00eb kosovar\u00ebve), me t\u00eb qenit vajz\u00eb adoleshente apo grua n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb (Rrjeti i Grupeve t\u00eb Grave t\u00eb Kosov\u00ebs ka b\u00ebr\u00eb takime dhe hulumtime t\u00eb vazhdueshme me vajza dhe gra t\u00eb reja t\u00eb Kosov\u00ebs, dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb goxha i hapur ndaj medias), apo marr\u00ebdheniet romantike midis adoleshent\u00ebve (Rrjeti PEN punon me t\u00eb rinj kosovar\u00eb an\u00ebmban\u00eb Kosov\u00ebs me \u00e7\u00ebshtje sikur sh\u00ebndeti seksual dhe lidhje t\u00eb sh\u00ebndosha romantike). Por jo, eksperti yn\u00eb mbi jet\u00ebn seksuale t\u00eb vajzave dhe grave n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb person i cili nuk ka botuar fare n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb fush\u00eb, apo fusha t\u00eb p\u00ebraf\u00ebrta (mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrmendim, p\u00ebr hir t\u00eb korrekt\u00ebsis\u00eb,\u00a0k\u00ebt\u00eb studim demografik<\/a>\u00a0mbi shp\u00ebrb\u00ebrjen e martes\u00ebs tradicionale n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb, dhe nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr mbi arsyet e shkuror\u00ebzimit n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb. I dyti nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb i qassh\u00ebm online, nd\u00ebrsa i pari \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00ebsisht kuantitativ, pa bashk\u00ebbisedim me subjektet e studimit). Nejse.<\/p>\n

Sikur t\u00eb kishin ftuar edhe ndonj\u00eb ekspert mbi tem\u00ebn n\u00eb fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr mendimin e tyre, ose t\u00eb kishin b\u00ebr\u00eb mundin m\u00eb t\u00eb vog\u00ebl t\u00eb intervistonin vajza dhe gra mes mosh\u00ebs 15-24, KALLXO.com do t\u00eb m\u00ebsonte se n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb, virgjiniteti nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb cip\u00eb n\u00eb vagjin\u00eb. Virgjiniteti n\u00ebnkupton fytyr\u00ebn, nj\u00eb koncept shum\u00eb i r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm n\u00eb nj\u00eb shoq\u00ebri t\u00eb mbyllur si e jona. N\u00ebnkupton mund\u00ebsin\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u martuar (n\u00ebqoft\u00ebse je statistikisht e prirur t\u00eb jesh e papun\u00eb dhe ekonomikisht jo e pavarur, martesa ka r\u00ebndesi jetike, a po?). Zbulimi i \u201ckurv\u00ebris\u00eb\u201d s\u00eb nj\u00eb vajzeje apo gruaje n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb shqiptare \u00ebsht\u00eb katastrofale. N\u00eb k\u00ebto rrethana \u00ebsht\u00eb totalisht e kuptueshme q\u00eb nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb apo grua, sidomos n\u00ebqoft\u00ebse \u00ebsht\u00eb e pamartuar, thot\u00eb se nuk ka p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb seksuale. Por, ky kontekst \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00ebsisht i humbur n\u00eb raportimin e KALLXO.com, ku eksperti i intervistuar pohon, pa baz\u00eb, se rinia kosovare \u00ebsht\u00eb e emancipuar dhe se ka liri seksuale n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb. Edhe kur ka ndonj\u00eb shpjegim m\u00eb t\u00eb matur mbi natyr\u00ebn vet\u00ebcensuruese t\u00eb anketave t\u00eb tilla, n\u00ebntitujt, fatkeq\u00ebsisht, tallen me nj\u00eb realitet tep\u00ebr t\u00eb zymt\u00eb (fotografia e p\u00ebrzgjedhur \u00ebsht\u00eb: nj\u00eb pal\u00eb buz\u00eb me flamurin e Kosov\u00ebs vizatuar p\u00ebrsip\u00ebr, n\u00ebntitujt e p\u00ebrzgjedhura jan\u00eb pohime sikur \u201cT\u00eb Gjitha T\u00eb Virgj\u00ebra\u201d dhe \u00a0\u201cBio – Pa prezervativ\u201d). Me t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin ton flitet p\u00ebr gjetjet mbi p\u00ebrdorimin e prezervativ\u00ebve n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb dhe p\u00ebrgjigjet e t\u00eb anketuar\u00ebve mbi lumturin\u00eb e tyre (\u201ct\u00eb virgj\u00ebr apo jo, me nj\u00eb partner apo me disa, me prezervativ apo me \u2018seks natyral\u2019 (t\u00eb pambrojtur), mbi 90 p\u00ebr qind e tyre jan\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqur me jet\u00ebn\u2026\u201d). Cekt\u00ebsia vazhdon. Anketa e nj\u00ebjt\u00eb, (n\u00eb fakt, n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin kapitull prej nga jan\u00eb marr\u00eb t\u00eb dh\u00ebnat mbi jet\u00ebn seksuale t\u00eb t\u00eb rinj\u00ebve) thot\u00eb se 64% t\u00eb grave t\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha grupmoshave (deri n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn 49) konfirmojn\u00eb se kan\u00eb pasur marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie seksuale n\u00eb 12 muajit e fundit, krahasuar me 70% t\u00eb burrave. A thua, vall\u00eb, mos na qenka m\u00eb leht\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb grua m\u00eb e vjet\u00ebr, mbase e martuar, t\u00eb thot\u00eb publikisht se ka pasur marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie seksuale, dhe pse na qenka k\u00ebshtu? Cilat jan\u00eb arsyet pse nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb adoleshente apo nj\u00eb grua e re n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb, mbase jo e martuar, nuk e thot\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebn n\u00eb nj\u00eb anket\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb? Ky kontekst, fatkeq\u00ebsisht, p\u00ebrs\u00ebri \u00ebsht\u00eb i humbur.<\/p>\n

Pse \u00ebsht\u00eb kjo me r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi? N\u00eb radh\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb, n\u00eb nj\u00eb anket\u00eb 300 faq\u00ebshe mbi sh\u00ebndetin e p\u00ebrgjithsh\u00ebm t\u00eb kosovar\u00ebve, ky fokus mbi jet\u00ebn seksuale t\u00eb vajzave dhe grave \u00ebsht\u00eb thjesht morbid. Ky instinkt p\u00ebr t\u00eb vler\u00ebsuar past\u00ebrtin\u00eb seksuale t\u00eb vajzave dhe grave \u00ebsht\u00eb i rr\u00ebnjosur thell\u00eb n\u00eb kultur\u00ebn shqiptare, dhe fatkeq\u00ebsisht, subteksti i artikujve t\u00eb till\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201ckurvat g\u00ebnjeshtare\u201d. N\u00eb ribotimin e Gazet\u00ebs Express, se paku kjo shprehet tro\u00e7: \u201cDeri n\u00eb cil\u00ebn mosh\u00eb jan\u00eb vajzat e Kosov\u00ebs t\u00eb virgj\u00ebra<\/a>, tregojn\u00eb shifrat e ASK-s\u00eb\u201d. Ky vler\u00ebsim i vazhduesh\u00ebm i \u201cpast\u00ebrtis\u00eb\u201d s\u00eb vajzave dhe grave n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb pik\u00ebrisht arsyeja pse ato nuk p\u00ebrgjigjen sinqert\u00eb n\u00eb anketa t\u00eb tilla. Mungesa e gazetaris\u00eb s\u00eb bazuar n\u00eb shifra, e cila interpreton t\u00eb dh\u00ebnat n\u00eb kontekstin e tyre shoq\u00ebror dhe i humanizon ato, b\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb k\u00ebto t\u00eb dh\u00ebna t\u00eb injorohen apo t\u00eb interpretohen n\u00eb baz\u00eb t\u00eb paragjykimeve ekzistuese t\u00eb ekipit redaktorial (madje ndjehen t\u00eb fyer me reagimet negative q\u00eb pasojn\u00eb<\/a>). Tema e presionit shoq\u00ebror ushtruar mbi vajzat dhe grat\u00eb n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb k\u00ebrkon dhembshuri dhe empati njer\u00ebzore, e jo tallje. Dhe n\u00eb fakt, aq keq t\u00eb kuptuar jan\u00eb vajzat dhe grat\u00eb n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb saq\u00eb nj\u00eb mbulim shkel-e-shko sikur ky vet\u00ebm d\u00ebmton m\u00eb shum\u00eb kauz\u00ebn e barazis\u00eb gjinore.<\/p>\n

Sh\u00ebndeti seksual i t\u00eb rinj\u00ebve tan\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb hajgare. Mungesa e lidhjeve t\u00eb sh\u00ebndosha seksuale midis grave dhe burrave krijojn\u00eb kushte p\u00ebr abuzim dhe dhun\u00eb. Nj\u00eb kuptim i sh\u00ebndosh\u00eb dhe i hapur i seksualitetit, n\u00eb radh\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb k\u00ebrkon pranimin e nj\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb absolute n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb: kjo shoq\u00ebri \u00ebsht\u00eb patriarkale, dhe shoq\u00ebrit\u00eb patriarkale bazohen n\u00eb dhun\u00eb, kryesisht ndaj vajzave dhe grave. Shoq\u00ebrit\u00eb patriarkale kontrollojn\u00eb dhe v\u00ebzhgojn\u00eb sjelljet e grave dhe vajzave, dhe i nd\u00ebshkojn\u00eb ato ashp\u00ebr p\u00ebr gabimet e tyre. Kjo dhun\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e normalizuar. P\u00ebr momentin, tek shum\u00eb, kjo e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb ngjall tallje n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb, p\u00ebrkund\u00ebr \u00e7far\u00ebdo statistike apo shifre.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ka nj\u00eb koh\u00eb q\u00eb jam ftuar t\u00eb shkruaj di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr Zejnepe Bytyqin, nj\u00eb grua e cila \u00ebsht\u00eb vrar\u00eb nga burri i saj n\u00eb Suharek\u00eb muajin q\u00eb shkoi. Nuk kam \u00e7ka shtoj m\u00eb shum\u00eb, p\u00ebr shkak se \u00e7ka kam p\u00ebr t\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb dhe st\u00ebrth\u00ebn\u00eb: t\u00eb gjitha statistikat dhe hulumtimet e mundshme n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb p\u00ebrshkruajn\u00eb […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":582,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[1221],"ppma_author":[2236],"class_list":["post-519","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opinion","tag-grate"],"authors":[{"term_id":2236,"user_id":582,"is_guest":0,"slug":"hana-marku","display_name":"Hana Marku","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/headshot.jpg","url2x":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/headshot.jpg"},"user_url":"","last_name":"Marku","first_name":"Hana","description":"Hana Marku, a Kosovar-Canadian writer, editor and researcher. "}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/519","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/582"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=519"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/519\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":520,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/519\/revisions\/520"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=519"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=519"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=519"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=519"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}