{"id":3242,"date":"2016-07-29T10:53:39","date_gmt":"2016-07-29T08:53:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/?p=3242"},"modified":"2024-10-18T11:14:16","modified_gmt":"2024-10-18T09:14:16","slug":"rozafa-dhe-dhuna-patrilokale-shqiptare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/opinion\/rozafa-dhe-dhuna-patrilokale-shqiptare\/","title":{"rendered":"Rozafa dhe dhuna patrilokale shqiptare"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Rozafa dhe dhuna patrilokale shqiptare<\/h3>\n<\/div>\n
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\u201cShpija e burrit \u00ebsht\u00eb samari prej gurit\u201d \u00ebsht\u00eb paralajm\u00ebruar gjyshja ime nga n\u00ebna e saj para martes\u00ebs. Ky paralajm\u00ebrim \u00ebsht\u00eb shoq\u00ebruar me parimin kryesor q\u00eb st\u00ebrgjyshja ime \u00ebsht\u00eb munduar ta kultivoj\u00eb heshtjen tek vajza e saj. Pra \u00ebsht\u00eb paralajm\u00ebruar p\u00ebr vuajtjet e m\u00ebdha q\u00eb do ta presin, por \u00ebsht\u00eb udh\u00ebzuar q\u00eb ato t\u2019i p\u00ebrballoj\u00eb me heshtje e \u201chijeshi\u201d, pa argumentuar dhe pa u ankuar.<\/p>\n

Dhe vuajtjet prej gurit e kan\u00eb pritur gjyshen time qysh n\u00eb jav\u00ebn e par\u00eb t\u00eb martes\u00ebs. Ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb detyruar nga vjehrri i saj q\u00eb t\u2019i kap\u00eb me dor\u00eb bajgat dhe t\u2019i gjuaj\u00eb n\u00eb mur\u00eb, n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb ato t\u00eb teren dhe t\u00eb p\u00ebrdoren p\u00ebr t\u00eb ndezur zjarrin. Edhe pse konsiderohej pun\u00eb burrash, kjo ishte nj\u00eb nga m\u00ebnyrat e shumta se si nuset e reja t\u00eb asaj kohe i kan\u00eb sfiduar p\u00ebr t\u2019i njohur m\u00eb mir\u00eb. Kur gjyshi im \u00ebsht\u00eb ankuar se gruaja e tij kund\u00ebrmon nga duart, babi i tij i ka propozuar q\u00eb nusja t\u00eb laj\u00eb rrobat p\u00ebr t\u2019iu hequr era e keqe.<\/p>\n

Sot, si 84 vje\u00e7are gjyshja ime pajtohet q\u00eb trajtimi i cili i \u00ebsht\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb nga familja e burrit ka qen\u00eb mizor. Dhe k\u00ebshtu ka menduar p\u00ebrgjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebs s\u00eb saj martesore. Por sot ajo vuan q\u00eb nuk ka pasur guxim t\u00eb p\u00ebrballet e t\u2019i luftoj\u00eb ata q\u00eb i kan\u00eb shkaktuar dhimbje dhe v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi, si dhe p\u00ebr munges\u00ebn e opsioneve n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb marr\u00eb jet\u00ebn e saj n\u00ebn kontroll.<\/p>\n

Tregime t\u00eb tilla si t\u00eb gjyshes sime, e edhe m\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebnda, i gjejm\u00eb gati tek t\u00eb gjitha grat\u00eb shqiptare dhe grat\u00eb e tjera t\u00eb shoq\u00ebrive shtyp\u00ebse patriarkale. K\u00ebto tregime e p\u00ebrjetime jan\u00eb t\u00eb institucionalizuara si mburrje. Legjenda e Rozaf\u00ebs n\u00eb t\u00eb cil\u00ebn burrat e familjes, me k\u00ebshillen e nj\u00eb plaku kalimtar, e flijojn\u00eb nusen m\u00eb t\u00eb re t\u00eb sht\u00ebpis\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb nd\u00ebrtuar k\u00ebshtjell\u00ebn vazhdon t\u00eb jet\u00eb pjes\u00eb e librit t\u00eb gjuh\u00ebs shqipe n\u00eb klas\u00ebn e kat\u00ebrt. P\u00ebrmes k\u00ebsaj legjende duket se sugjerohet q\u00eb t\u00eb mburremi me sakrific\u00ebn e jet\u00ebs s\u00eb nj\u00eb gruaje p\u00ebr sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e burrit, dhe k\u00ebrkes\u00ebn e saj t\u00eb vetme si n\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb kur ta murojn\u00eb p\u00ebr s\u00eb gjalli, mes tjerash, gjirin e djatht\u00eb t\u2019ia l\u00ebn\u00eb jasht\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb ta ushqej\u00eb t\u00eb voglin e saj.<\/p>\n

As n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb e as n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi kjo legjend\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb diskutuar p\u00ebr mizorin\u00eb ndaj grave, p\u00ebr grat\u00eb si objekte p\u00ebr t\u2019u flijuar n\u00eb k\u00ebmbim me mure t\u00eb q\u00ebndrueshme. Nuk e kemi diskutuar as se gruaja n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb legjend\u00eb nuk ka zgjedhur t\u00eb flijohet p\u00ebr nj\u00eb k\u00ebshtjell\u00eb, por at\u00eb e vendos\u00ebn burrat e familjes. \u00a0Kjo legjend\u00eb tirane pa asnj\u00eb element edukues n\u00eb t\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb duhej t\u00eb jet\u00eb pjes\u00eb leximi p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. Nuk ka asgj\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb legjend\u00eb q\u00eb do t\u00eb duhej t\u00eb na b\u00ebj\u00eb krenar\u00eb. Legjenda t\u00eb tilla duhet t\u00eb shoq\u00ebrohen me pyetje diskutuese q\u00eb v\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb pah padrejt\u00ebsin\u00eb dhe mizorin\u00eb e nj\u00eb kohe apo rrethane t\u00eb caktuar dhe m\u00ebnyrat sesi \u00ebsht\u00eb manipuluar me pushtet e autoritet q\u00eb dikush e ka g\u00ebzuar mbi shpin\u00ebn e tjet\u00ebrkujt.<\/p>\n

Sot, mjafton t\u2019i d\u00ebgjojm\u00eb rr\u00ebfimet e grave n\u00eb strehimore p\u00ebr mbrojtjen e grave dhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebve n\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00eb Kosov\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar se dhuna ndaj grave n\u00eb familje t\u00eb burrit nga vet\u00eb burri i tyre dhe i an\u00ebtar\u00ebve t\u00eb tjer\u00eb t\u00eb familjes, \u00ebsht\u00eb e shpesht\u00eb dhe po aq e tmerrshme sa e Rozaf\u00ebs n\u00eb legjend\u00ebn shqiptare.<\/p>\n

Jeta prej guri q\u00eb i ka pritur grat\u00eb mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb qen\u00eb edhe arsyeja kryesore pse nuset kan\u00eb qar\u00eb para martes\u00ebs. Por edhe para se t\u00eb shp\u00ebrngulen p\u00ebr n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e burrit, ato i jan\u00eb ekspozuar nj\u00eb procesi vajtues gjat\u00eb fest\u00ebs s\u00eb nus\u00ebris\u00eb, ku jan\u00eb sfiduar emocionalisht nga nj\u00eb grua tjet\u00ebr (e zonja me fjal\u00eb e shprehje) p\u00ebr t\u2019u imponuar ndjenj\u00ebn e fajit se kinse po e braktisin familjen e tyre dhe po shkojn\u00eb tek ajo e burrit. Dhimbja dhe malli p\u00ebr \u201csht\u00ebpin\u00eb e babait\u201d nga nuset \u00ebsht\u00eb pritur t\u00eb d\u00ebshmohet me shum\u00eb lot. Kjo praktik\u00eb vazhdon edhe sot, sepse ende vajzat dhe grat\u00eb e familjes e kan\u00eb barr\u00ebn e p\u00ebrkujdesjes p\u00ebr an\u00ebtar\u00ebt e familjes, qofshin t\u00eb martuara apo jo.<\/p>\n

Ky model flijues dhe faj\u00ebsues i grave shqiptare mbetet gjall\u00eb e sh\u00ebndosh. Ai p\u00ebrkthehet me mosndarjen e trash\u00ebgimis\u00eb p\u00ebr vajzat, me mosp\u00ebrkrahje t\u00eb vajzave e grave q\u00eb preken nga dhuna nga burrat e tyre dhe meshkuj t\u00eb tjer\u00eb t\u00eb familjes, me p\u00ebrjashtim e braktisje nga sht\u00ebpia p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb munges\u00ebs s\u00eb \u201c\u00e7ilt\u00ebrsis\u00eb\u201d, pik\u00ebpamjeve fetare apo orientimit seksual.<\/p>\n

Sot mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb gra n\u00eb jet\u00ebn publike dhe institucionale por trajtimi i tyre n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi q\u00eb ende konsiderohet si \u201csht\u00ebpi e burrit\u201d mbetet seksist dhe mizogjinist. Sot arsyet p\u00ebr t\u00eb qar\u00eb para martes\u00ebs do t\u00eb duhej t\u00eb ishin pik\u00ebrisht p\u00ebrjetimet e gjysheve dhe n\u00ebnave tona, si dhe tregimet aktuale t\u00eb grave n\u00eb qytete e fshatra ku normat e d\u00ebmshme shoq\u00ebrore t\u00eb p\u00ebrvet\u00ebsuara nd\u00ebr shekuj i dominojn\u00eb ligjet e sotme demokratike.<\/p>\n

Mos t\u00eb mashtrohemi me modelin modern t\u00eb grave t\u00eb reja. Vajzat dhe djemt\u00eb ende m\u00ebsojn\u00eb n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb p\u00ebr Rozaf\u00ebn si model gruaje q\u00eb flijohet, jo p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb ambicieve financiare t\u00eb burrave dhe familjeve, por p\u00ebr shkak se ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb grua e mir\u00eb, i bindet burrit dhe mbetet n\u00ebn\u00eb e pavdekshme. Pavar\u00ebsisht se nj\u00eb grup i caktuar i grave sot \u00ebsht\u00eb i privilegjuar me mund\u00ebsi p\u00ebr t\u00eb zgjedhur dhe jetuar jet\u00ebn e d\u00ebshiruar, Rozafat \u201cmoderne\u201d n\u00eb shum\u00eb \u201csht\u00ebpi t\u00eb burrave\u201d vazhdojn\u00eb t\u00eb sh\u00ebrbejn\u00eb dhe t\u00eb flijohen p\u00ebr parime t\u00eb rreme dhe mbrojtje t\u00eb traditave t\u00eb d\u00ebmshme q\u00eb rrall\u00eb e hi\u00e7 mb\u00ebshteten n\u00eb parimin e barazis\u00eb dhe njer\u00ebzis\u00eb.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Rozafa dhe dhuna patrilokale shqiptare \u201cShpija e burrit \u00ebsht\u00eb samari prej gurit\u201d \u00ebsht\u00eb paralajm\u00ebruar gjyshja ime nga n\u00ebna e saj para martes\u00ebs. Ky paralajm\u00ebrim \u00ebsht\u00eb shoq\u00ebruar me parimin kryesor q\u00eb st\u00ebrgjyshja ime \u00ebsht\u00eb munduar ta kultivoj\u00eb heshtjen tek vajza e saj. Pra \u00ebsht\u00eb paralajm\u00ebruar p\u00ebr vuajtjet e m\u00ebdha q\u00eb do ta presin, por \u00ebsht\u00eb udh\u00ebzuar […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":480,"featured_media":8396,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[1281],"class_list":["post-3242","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinion"],"authors":[{"term_id":1281,"user_id":480,"is_guest":0,"slug":"shqipe-gjocaj","display_name":"Shqipe Gjocaj","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/Shqipe-Gjocaj.jpg","url2x":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/Shqipe-Gjocaj.jpg"},"user_url":"","last_name":"Gjocaj","first_name":"Shqipe","description":"Shqipe Gjocaj \u00ebsht\u00eb aktiviste feministe, njoh\u00ebse e \u00e7\u00ebshtjeve gjinore, dhe gazetare e pavarur. Pun\u00ebn e saj e zhvillon n\u00eb organizata joqeveritare dhe medie p\u00ebrmes hulumtimit, hartimit t\u00eb politikave gjinore, dhe shkrimit rreth \u00e7\u00ebshtjeve gjinore dhe t\u00eb drejtave t\u00eb njeriut. Ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb kolumniste n\u00eb Prishtina Insight\/BIRN. Shkrimet e saj jan\u00eb botuar po ashtu n\u00eb Kosovo2.0, sbunker, Balkan Insight, dhe Reuters. Ne vitin 2017 ajo ka qen\u00eb bursiste n\u00eb Burs\u00ebn Ballkanike p\u00ebr Ekselenc\u00eb n\u00eb Gazetari. Ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebrfituese e programit t\u00eb K2.0, Bursa n\u00eb Gazetari p\u00ebr t\u00eb Drejta t\u00eb Njeriut (cikli 2019)."}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3242","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/480"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3242"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3242\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8623,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3242\/revisions\/8623"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8396"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3242"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3242"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3242"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=3242"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}