{"id":3346,"date":"2016-12-02T16:42:01","date_gmt":"2016-12-02T14:42:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/?p=3346"},"modified":"2024-12-10T16:45:30","modified_gmt":"2024-12-10T14:45:30","slug":"jo-dhuna-ndodh-por-dhuna-asht-krim","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/analize\/jo-dhuna-ndodh-por-dhuna-asht-krim\/","title":{"rendered":"Jo “dhuna ndodh”, por dhuna asht krim"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Grat\u00eb vriten, ve\u00e7 pse jan\u00eb gra. Vriten pse jan\u00eb gra, sepse si t\u00eb tilla shihen si kategori e klas\u00ebs s\u00eb dyt\u00eb n\u00eb nji shoqni. Vriten n\u00eb ato shoqni ku shihen si pron\u00eb e bab\u00ebs e bashk\u00ebshortit. Ato vrahen me grushta, ato vrahen edhe me fjal\u00eb.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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N\u00eb shoqni t\u00eb civilizueme, m\u00ebsimdhan\u00ebsit, prind\u00ebrit, besa edhe zyrtar\u00eb t\u00eb nalt\u00eb q\u00eb mbajn\u00eb nji karton n\u00eb dor\u00eb me mbishkrime kund\u00ebr dhun\u00ebs, e kan\u00eb ba detyr\u00eb t\u00eb veten me i m\u00ebsue djemve, burrave, q\u00eb nuk ban me i m\u00ebshue nji gruje, sepse kjo nuk asht burrnore. Grat\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb dob\u00ebta, t\u00eb brishta. Burrat nuk e matin forc\u00ebn e tyne me t\u00eb dob\u00ebt\u00ebn, t\u00eb brisht\u00ebn.<\/p>\n

Ma merr menja q\u00eb kur kryesori i misionit t\u00eb OSBE-s\u00eb n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb, ambasadori i Norvegjis\u00eb z. Jan Braathu ka lejue me u fotografu p\u00ebr fushat\u00ebn kund\u00ebr dhun\u00ebs s\u00eb grave me nji mbishkrim kur thuhet: \u201cdhuna asht dob\u00ebsi; b\u00ebhu burr\u00eb, mos m\u00ebsho\u201d nuk e ka pas\u00eb problem, sepse nuk e ka vu re \u00e7ka asht gabim n\u00eb at\u00eb porosi q\u00eb ai mban\u00eb n\u00eb duer, sepse konceptin q\u00eb ai e shet aty, ai personalisht nashta as nuk e njeh ma prej vendit t\u00eb tij.<\/p>\n

Por, megjithat\u00eb ai asht mjaft burr\u00eb, me menu q\u00eb n\u00ebse ai del n\u00eb at\u00eb fotografi si nji burr\u00eb i fort\u00eb, i suksessh\u00ebm, si nji burr\u00eb q\u00eb nuk i m\u00ebshon nji grueje, ai mundet me sh\u00ebrbye si shembull i atij burrit q\u00eb asht ba burr\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Problemi i burrnimit nuk asht ve\u00e7 problem i joni. Por i joni asht shum ma shum, n\u00eb dallim me vendet n\u00eb rajon e ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht me vendet e Evrop\u00ebs per\u00ebndimore, problemi i burrnimit te na hala vjen jo ve\u00e7 me fjal\u00eb por edhe me grushta. Grushta p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilat nuk nd\u00ebshkohet kurrkush. E kur nd\u00ebshkohet, nd\u00ebshkimet jan\u00eb qesharake, sikur q\u00eb e kishim rastin e deputetit t\u00eb filan komun\u00ebs q\u00eb rrahu \u00e7ik\u00ebn e fisit t\u00eb tij. Gjakun e tij. A shtihet burri n\u00eb burg p\u00ebr dhun\u00eb ndaj gjakut t\u00eb vet? Jo, n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb vend odash, jo.<\/p>\n

E habitshme asht qyshdoqoft\u00eb, kur OSBE-ja kjo alamet organizat\u00eb, me gjith\u00eb ato fonde, shkon dhe e fillon nji fushat\u00eb kund\u00ebr dhun\u00ebs n\u00eb familje, kund\u00ebr dhun\u00ebs ndaj grues, gati e gati ve\u00e7 p\u00ebr me na n\u00ebn\u00e7mue, tue d\u00ebshmue ma s\u00eb pari q\u00eb ai alamet ekspert q\u00eb e kan\u00eb angazhue (po supozoj) nuk e njeh fush\u00ebn, nuk e njeh problematik\u00ebn, e mbi t\u00eb gjitha nuk e ka nji koncept t\u00eb qart\u00eb se kujt po ia drejton mesazhin, dhe pse?<\/p>\n

N\u00eb nji fotografi t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj fushate i sheh pes\u00eb porosi, kat\u00ebr prej tyne kontradiktore me njana tjetr\u00ebn. E qajo e pesta rri e vetmueme dhe e izolume pa naj ide pse asht aty.<\/p>\n

Shihet ambasadori Jan Braathu, tue e majt\u00eb nji let\u00ebr n\u00eb duer, ku shkruen:<\/p>\n

\u201eDhuna asht e barabart\u00eb me dob\u00ebsin\u00eb\u201c dhe \u201eBanu burr\u00eb, mos m\u00ebsho\u201c. N\u00eb an\u00ebn e djatht\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj fotografije (ngjyrat dhe transparenc\u00ebn e shkronjave, s\u2018po e diskutoj) shkruen: \u201eDhuna n\u00eb familje ndodh.\u201c dhe p\u00ebrfuni k\u00ebsaj: \u201eMos e mshef! Raportoje!\u201c<\/p>\n

N\u00eb nji shoqni ku e kund\u00ebrta me qen\u00eb burr\u00eb asht me qen\u00eb grue ose “peder”, me thon\u00eb “dhuna asht dob\u00ebsi” e me e nd\u00ebrlidh\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb me “banu burr\u00eb e mos m\u00ebsho” po m’duket sikur s’jena tue e kuptue mir\u00eb problemin e dhun\u00ebs. Mesazhi po thot\u00eb: “banu burr\u00eb\u201d pra, banu i fort\u00eb, mos ushtro dhun\u00eb, se dhuna asht dob\u00ebsi e dob\u00ebsia asht anti-burrnore. Nuk zgjidhen problemet tue i fry edhe ma shum stigmatizimeve q\u00eb ekzistojn\u00eb p\u00ebr gjinin\u00eb e “dob\u00ebt” dhe tue u than\u00eb burrave q\u00eb dhuna asht e keqe pse asht “jo-burrnore se asht dob\u00ebsi” jo pse asht krim a najsen. \u00c7ka tash, a po dojna me i marr\u00eb “me t’mir\u00eb” burrat q\u00eb ushtrojn\u00eb dhun\u00eb a?!<\/p>\n

Shihet Atifete Jahjaga, tue e majt\u00eb nji let\u00ebr n\u00eb duer, ku shkruen:<\/p>\n

\u201eDhuna n\u00eb familje asht e patolerushme, nuk asht \u00e7ashtje private! Ajo na p\u00ebrket t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve, dhe duhet me u d\u00ebnue prej krejt neve\u201c. N\u00eb an\u00ebn e djath\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb fotografi shkruen: \u201cDhuna n\u00eb familje ndodh\u201d dhe p\u00ebrfuni k\u00ebsaj: \u201cmos e mshef! Raportoje!\u201d<\/p>\n

Porosia n\u00eb fotografin\u00eb e znj. Jahjaga asht ma e pranueshme, por asht hipokrite jo ma pak, edhe p\u00ebrshkak se lexohet n\u00eb duer t\u00eb nji grueje e cila kur pat\u00eb vendin e duhun jo q\u00eb nuk bani kurrgjo p\u00ebrve\u00e7 me i majt\u00eb do fjalime posht\u00eb e nalt p\u00ebr barazin\u00eb gjinore, por asnjiher\u00eb nuk e p\u00ebr\u00e7oi asnji porosi t\u00eb qart\u00eb, q\u00eb dhuna n\u00eb familje e cila ndodh, edhe pse na p\u00ebrket t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve e duhet ta d\u00ebnojm\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb ne, NUK GUXON ME MBET\u00cb PA U D\u00cbNU prej aparatit t\u00eb drejt\u00ebsis\u00eb. Dhunuesit e kan\u00eb vendin n\u00eb burg. K\u00ebt\u00eb porosi, ajo nuk e dha asnjiher\u00eb as si kryetare e nuk e jep as tash. Prej kah pra guximi me iu than\u00eb grave \u201enuk jeni vet\u00ebm\u201d. Na jena me juve. Dhuna ndaj jush nuk asht \u00e7ashtje private, kur n\u00eb fakt asht. Krejt\u00ebsisht private.<\/p>\n

Prandaj, edhe kjo porosi asht kurrgjo tjet\u00ebr pos nji moralizim ma shum. Dhuna asht e t\u00eb gjith\u00ebve, na p\u00ebrket krejtve, nuk tolerohet. Nuk tolerohet prej kujt? \u00c7ka ka lidhje a e toleroj un\u00eb n\u00ebse kojshia jem i hin dajak grues t\u00eb tij, kur un\u00eb edhe pse e thirri policin\u00eb, grueja s\u2019ka guxim me e denoncue, sepse tutet q\u00eb ata q\u00eb duhet me e d\u00ebnue nuk e d\u00ebnojn\u00eb. D\u00ebnimi jem moral nuk i mjafton asaj. E ajo tutet q\u00eb del naj polic e i thot\u00eb, \u201cnuk ta paska m\u00ebshue shum de\u201d, ose\/dhe \u201cdhuna ndodh\u201d.<\/p>\n

Grueja kosovare ka nevoj\u00eb me ni k\u00ebt\u00eb q\u00eb ligji p\u00ebr mbrojtjen e saj zbatohet, jo q\u00eb \u201cdhuna ndodh\u201d. Sepse, porosia q\u00eb dhuna ndodh, nuk i ndihmon asaj kurrgjo, sepse ajo po e ndjen \u00e7do dit\u00eb q\u00eb dhuna ndodh. Prandaj n\u00eb nji fushat\u00eb kund\u00ebr dhun\u00ebs n\u00eb familje, ma shum se racionalizimi q\u00eb \u201cdhuna ndodh\u201d q\u00eb nashta n\u00ebnkupton n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb fushat\u00eb \u201cs\u2019je e vetmja; mos t\u2019vjen marre\u2026\u201d, grueja kosovare ka nevoj\u00eb q\u00eb shoqnia me e ni e me e ni fort q\u00eb \u201cdhuna asht krim\u201d. Ajo s\u2019ka nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr moralizime, sepse gjurm\u00ebt e dhun\u00ebs t\u00eb cilat ajo i jeton \u00e7do dit\u00eb, jan\u00eb fakte. Jan\u00eb fakte private, q\u00eb vijn\u00eb n\u00eb form\u00eb t\u00eb plag\u00ebve q\u00eb edhe kur nuk shihen, jan\u00eb aty. Gjithashtu asht fakt, q\u00eb po nuk pat ku me shkue gruaja q\u00eb ushtrohet dhun\u00eb ndaj saj, eventualisht p\u00ebrfundon n\u00eb strehimore p\u00ebr gra viktima t\u00eb dhun\u00ebs (p\u00ebr disa muej), ku n\u00ebse ankohet edhe p\u00ebr gjan\u00eb ma t\u00eb vog\u00ebl, e presin moralizime t\u00eb tjera: \u201cpo ty mir\u00eb ta paska bo burri, po ti s\u2019po dijshe me shujt\u00eb, ve\u00e7 tue u ankue.\u201d<\/p>\n

Shihet Adriatik Kelmendi, tue e majt\u00eb nji let\u00ebr n\u00eb duer, ku shkruen:<\/p>\n

\u201eFamilja asht gjaja ma e \u00e7mueme q\u00eb ke. Ruaje!\u201c. N\u00eb an\u00ebn e majt\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj fotografije shkruen (prap): \u201eDhuna n\u00eb familje ndodh.\u201c Dhe p\u00ebrfuni k\u00ebsaj: \u201eMos e mshef. Raportoje!\u201c<\/p>\n

Ta zb\u00ebrthejm\u00eb pak. Porosia kryesore k\u00ebtu asht q\u00eb dhuna n\u00eb familje ndodh, dhe q\u00eb nuk duhet me u mshef\u00eb por me u raportue. Dmth kjo fushat\u00eb i drejtohet grave. Kjo asht n\u00eb rregull, \u00e7ka s\u2019asht n\u00eb rregull asht kur kjo porosi q\u00eb i p\u00ebr\u00e7ohet grave, vajzave dhe t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve q\u00eb mund t\u00eb jen\u00eb viktima t\u00eb dhun\u00ebs n\u00eb familje, kombinohet me \u201efamilja asht ma e \u00e7mueshmja q\u00eb ke. Ruaje!\u201c. Hajt t\u00eb nalemi pak qitu.<\/p>\n

Numri ma i madh i grave, dhe jo ve\u00e7 n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb, t\u00eb cilat nuk e raportojn\u00eb dhun\u00ebn, veprojn\u00eb k\u00ebshtu p\u00ebr shkak se dojn\u00eb me e mbrojt\u00eb familjen. Sepse, ose kan\u00eb frik\u00eb, ose e dijn\u00eb q\u00eb pas atij raportimi ajo familje do t\u00eb \u201eprishet\u201c. Nji num\u00ebr i madh i k\u00ebtyne grave edhe prej pun\u00ebtor\u00ebve social, bile bile filan drejtor\u00ebve t\u00eb filan qendr\u00ebs p\u00ebr pun\u00eb sociale, jan\u00eb detyru me ni moralizime t\u00eb tilla, q\u00eb \u201cfamilja asht e shenjt\u00eb, e duhet me u mundu insani me e pshtue, se asht leht\u00eb me e prish\u00eb; por duhet me durue p\u00ebr me pshtue\u201d etj. etj.! Pytja jem k\u00ebtu asht, a po tutet OSBE-ja me fol\u00eb shkurt e shqip, apo e ka marr\u00eb p\u00ebr ekspert, nji q\u00eb nuk e ka iden\u00eb p\u00ebr dhun\u00ebn n\u00eb familje n\u00eb Kosov\u00eb? Qysh munesh me iu than\u00eb grave mos e mshef dhun\u00ebn; raportoje; dhuna ndodh\u00a0dmth s\u2019je e vetmja, e n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn koh\u00eb me ia gjuejt\u00eb mbi nd\u00ebrgjegjje mbrojtjen e familjes p\u00ebr t\u00eb cil\u00ebn ajo ka durue dhun\u00ebn me shekuj n\u00eb radh\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb? Apo nashta p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsia po i gjuhet burrit?<\/p>\n

Ta analizojm\u00eb pra prej k\u00ebsaj ane: kur jemi t\u00eb mbrojtja e familjes, kur jemi te ajo se sa e \u00e7mueshme asht familja, grueja jo ve\u00e7 q\u00eb e ka durue dhun\u00ebn p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb k\u00ebtij morali idiotik, por ajo ka hang\u00ebr dajak n\u00eb radh\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb p\u00ebr shkak se e ka \u201errezikue\u201c shkatrrimin e familjes s\u00eb \u00e7mueshme, k\u00ebsaj gjaje ma t\u00eb ran\u00ebsishme q\u00eb kemi. Pra burri, tue e pa veten si zot me e mbrojt\u00eb familjen, ka ushtrue dhun\u00eb mi gruen, e besa edhe f\u00ebmij\u00ebn p\u00ebr me e mbrojt\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb familje.<\/p>\n

N\u00eb nji vend ku individi nuk ka vler\u00eb, familja si institucion nuk ka edhe ma hi\u00e7 vler\u00eb dhe asht ve\u00e7 nji fasad\u00eb tjet\u00ebr e lumtunis\u00eb kolektive, ku dehemi t\u00eb gjith\u00eb si t\u00eb marr\u00eb tue e mashtrue veten q\u00eb kemi vlera. E ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht k\u00ebshtu, kur grueja si an\u00ebtare e k\u00ebsaj familje mbetet gjak i huej.<\/p>\n

Prandaj asht e ran\u00ebsishme me than\u00eb, q\u00eb familja nuk asht gjaja ma e ran\u00ebsishme q\u00eb ke. Familja asht bashk\u00ebsi individ\u00ebsh, liria dhe mir\u00ebqenia e secilit individ n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb bashk\u00ebsi asht ma e \u00e7mueshmja. Paramenone k\u00ebt\u00eb: Je grue. T\u00eb ka rreh burri. Je tue e jetu k\u00ebt\u00eb dhun\u00eb me muej. Ke vendos ma n\u00eb fund me u nda. Ke f\u00ebmij\u00eb. P\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, s\u2019di as vet\u00eb qysh p\u00ebrzihet n\u00eb muhabet qendra p\u00ebr pun\u00eb sociale dhe t\u00eb thirr\u00eb personalisht drejtori me fol\u00eb me ty. E t\u00eb thot\u00eb: \u201cpse po ndahesh, duhesh me e fal\u00eb, nuk ban me prish\u00eb familjen\u201d. Ma von\u00eb e merr vesh, q\u00eb ish burri yt, e ka gjet\u00eb nji t\u00eb njofsh\u00ebm, q\u00eb e ka nji t\u00eb njofsh\u00ebm\u2026! Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb q\u00eb jasht atyne zyreve, edhe pse ti i ke mledh\u00eb pla\u00e7kat e ke ik\u00eb prej shpis\u00eb t\u00eb burrit, ti je e k\u00ebrcnume. Ku me shkue? N\u00eb polici? Po n\u00ebse t\u00eb del edhe atje nji drejtor me moral t\u00eb idiotit me t\u00eb kallxue sa e \u00e7mueshme asht familja, \u00e7ka me ba, ku me shku tani? Na, na pra \u201cata t\u00eb gjith\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt, p\u00ebrfshi edhe zonj\u00ebn Jahjaga, na t\u00eb cil\u00ebve na p\u00ebrket dhuna dhe nuk e tolerojm\u00eb\u201d na jemi n\u00eb pun\u00ebt tona. Ky asht realitet. Mujna me dal me bo nji protest\u00eb p\u00ebr ty, po kjo zakonisht ndodh\u00a0masi q\u00eb ti je d\u00ebrrmue e eventualisht s\u2019je ma hi\u00e7. Ky asht realiteti kosovar.<\/p>\n

Qysh munet nji fushat\u00eb e OSBE-s\u00eb me ia lejue vetes me shit\u00eb moralizma t\u00eb tilla q\u00eb vrajn\u00eb po aq sa grushtat, n\u00eb nji fushat\u00eb kund\u00ebr dhun\u00ebs s\u00eb gruas, un\u00eb s\u2019muj me e kuptue. Por po munohem. Maqo kultur\u00eb n\u00eb kulminacion.<\/p>\n

vazhdon\u2026!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Grat\u00eb vriten, ve\u00e7 pse jan\u00eb gra. Vriten pse jan\u00eb gra, sepse si t\u00eb tilla shihen si kategori e klas\u00ebs s\u00eb dyt\u00eb n\u00eb nji shoqni. Vriten n\u00eb ato shoqni ku shihen si pron\u00eb e bab\u00ebs e bashk\u00ebshortit. Ato vrahen me grushta, ato vrahen edhe me fjal\u00eb. N\u00eb shoqni t\u00eb civilizueme, m\u00ebsimdhan\u00ebsit, prind\u00ebrit, besa edhe zyrtar\u00eb t\u00eb […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":505,"featured_media":10877,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[2001,972,1007],"ppma_author":[1348],"class_list":["post-3346","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-analize","tag-dhuna-ndaj-grave","tag-kosove","tag-te-drejtat-e-grave"],"authors":[{"term_id":1348,"user_id":505,"is_guest":0,"slug":"ardiana-shala","display_name":"Ardiana Shala Prishtina","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/ardianashalaprishtina2-1021x1024-1.jpg","url2x":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/ardianashalaprishtina2-1021x1024-1.jpg"},"user_url":"","last_name":"Shala Prishtina","first_name":"Ardiana","description":"Ardiana Shala Prishtina \u00ebsht\u00eb pjes\u00eb e Antologjis\u00eb s\u00eb poeteve shqiptare \u201cMagma\u201d, p\u00ebrpiluar dhe p\u00ebrkthyer nga Vlora Konushevci dhe botuar nga SHB \u201cLittera\u201d, Prishtin\u00eb."}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3346","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/505"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3346"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3346\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10879,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3346\/revisions\/10879"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10877"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3346"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3346"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3346"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=3346"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}