{"id":4817,"date":"2021-02-13T11:56:40","date_gmt":"2021-02-13T09:56:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/?p=4817"},"modified":"2025-01-08T12:02:31","modified_gmt":"2025-01-08T10:02:31","slug":"teoria-e-marredhenieve-nderkombetare-per-te-dashuruarit-nje-udhezues-per-shen-valentin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/opinion\/teoria-e-marredhenieve-nderkombetare-per-te-dashuruarit-nje-udhezues-per-shen-valentin\/","title":{"rendered":"Teoria e Marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve Nd\u00ebrkomb\u00ebtare p\u00ebr t\u00eb dashuruarit: nj\u00eb udh\u00ebzues p\u00ebr Sh\u00ebn Valentin"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Nes\u00ebr \u00ebsht\u00eb dita e Sh\u00ebn Valentinit. Si nj\u00eb sh\u00ebrbim p\u00ebr publikun, un\u00eb dua t\u2019i rikujtoj lexuesve t\u00eb revist\u00ebs \u201cForeign Policy<\/a>\u201d p\u00ebr njohurit\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme q\u00eb mund t\u00eb ofroj teoria e Marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve Nd\u00ebrkomb\u00ebtare (MN) p\u00ebr njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb kan\u00eb r\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb dashuri.<\/p>\n

Si fillim, \u00e7do partneritet romantik \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb thelb nj\u00eb aleanc\u00eb dhe\u00a0aleancat<\/a>\u00a0jan\u00eb nj\u00eb nd\u00ebr konceptet thelb\u00ebsore n\u00eb Marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet Nd\u00ebrkomb\u00ebtare. Aleancat sjellin shum\u00eb p\u00ebrfitime p\u00ebr an\u00ebtar\u00ebt e tyre (p\u00ebrndryshe p\u00ebrse do t\u2019i formonim ato?) por si\u00e7 e dim\u00eb, ato ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb reflektojn\u00eb pasione irracionale dhe pashmangsh\u00ebm e kufizojn\u00eb autonomin\u00eb e secilit an\u00ebtar. Shum\u00eb teoricien\u00eb t\u00eb MN besojn\u00eb se\u00a0institucionalizimi<\/a>\u00a0i nj\u00eb aleance e b\u00ebn\u00eb at\u00eb m\u00eb\u00a0efektive<\/a>\u00a0dhe m\u00eb t\u00eb\u00a0q\u00ebndrueshme<\/a>, por kjo gjithashtu \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe arsyeja se p\u00ebrse b\u00ebrja m\u00eb formale nj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie dashurore \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb hap dometh\u00ebn\u00ebs q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb merret n\u00eb konsiderat\u00eb me kujdes.<\/p>\n

Sigurisht, teoricien\u00ebt e MN gjithashtu kan\u00eb\u00a0paralajm\u00ebruar<\/a>\u00a0se aleat\u00ebt jo rrall\u00eb p\u00ebrball\u00ebn me rreziqe t\u00eb dyfishta, at\u00eb t\u00eb braktisjes dhe z\u00ebnies n\u00eb kurth: sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb q\u00eb kemi frik\u00eb se partner\u00ebt tan\u00eb mund t\u00eb na l\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb balt\u00eb (braktisin), aq m\u00eb shum\u00eb ka gjasa q\u00eb t\u2019i lejojm\u00eb ata t\u00eb na t\u00ebrheqin n\u00eb detyrime q\u00eb fillimisht nuk i kishim parashikuar (z\u00ebnia n\u00eb kurth). Kur e gjeni vet\u00ebn duke marr\u00eb pjes\u00eb n\u00eb ri-takimet e shkoll\u00ebs s\u00eb mesme t\u00eb partnerit tuaj, ose duke udh\u00ebtuar \u00e7do vit tek prind\u00ebrit e saj\/tij p\u00ebr dark\u00ebn e Fal\u00ebnderimeve, at\u00ebher\u00eb do e kuptoni se \u00e7far\u00eb dua t\u00eb them.<\/p>\n

Realist\u00ebt prej koh\u00ebsh kan\u00eb argumentuar se sistemet bipolare jan\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb q\u00ebndrueshmet. Andaj, n\u00ebse njeri nga ju q\u00eb jeni t\u00eb dashuruar po mendoni q\u00eb t\u00eb shtoni m\u00eb shum\u00eb aktor\u00eb kryesor n\u00eb sistem, ju lutem ta ri-konsideroni k\u00ebt\u00eb gj\u00eb. Si\u00e7 shumica prej nesh m\u00ebsojm\u00eb n\u00eb nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb, p\u00ebrpjekja p\u00ebr t\u00eb modifikuar nj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie romantike n\u00eb nj\u00eb renditje multi-polare zakonisht shpie n\u00eb kriza dhe nganj\u00ebher\u00eb n\u00eb luft\u00eb t\u00eb hapur. Sigurisht se kjo nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb gj\u00eb e mir\u00eb p\u00ebr stabilitetin e aleanc\u00ebs.<\/p>\n

Teoria e MN gjithashtu na paralajm\u00ebron se\u00a0ndryshimet n\u00eb ekuilibrin e fuqis\u00eb<\/a>\u00a0jan\u00eb t\u00eb rrezikshme. Ekziston nj\u00eb paralajm\u00ebrim i qart\u00eb k\u00ebtu: ka m\u00eb shum\u00eb t\u00eb ngjar\u00eb q\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet t\u00eb ken\u00eb probleme n\u00ebse statusi apo fuqia e nj\u00eb partneri ndryshon n\u00eb form\u00eb rapide. Pra, avancimi n\u00eb pun\u00eb i partnerit, p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilin rast keni festuar s\u00eb bashku, p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsisht mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb gj\u00eb e mir\u00eb, por ka t\u00eb ngjar\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshoj pritjet dhe t\u2019ju detyroj ju dhe partnerin tuaj t\u00eb b\u00ebni ndryshime serioze. E nj\u00ebjta gj\u00eb vlen edhe n\u00ebse nj\u00ebri nga ju pushohet nga puna. Si p\u00ebrfundim: k\u00ebrkohet shum\u00eb durim dhe dashuri p\u00ebr t\u00eb p\u00ebrballuar nj\u00eb ndryshim t\u00eb madh n\u00eb baraspesh\u00ebn e fuqis\u00eb brenda nj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie.<\/p>\n

Edhe marr\u00ebdh\u00ebniet m\u00eb t\u00eb mira kan\u00eb momentet e tyre t\u00eb v\u00ebshtira, sigurisht, sepse edhe qeniet njer\u00ebzore q\u00eb e duan thell\u00ebsisht nj\u00ebri-tjetrin mund t\u00eb ken\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi t\u00eb kuptojn\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb d\u00ebshiron personi tjet\u00ebr dhe p\u00ebrse po vepron ashtu si po vepron. Teoricien\u00ebt e MN kan\u00eb shkruar shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra t\u00eb men\u00e7uria n\u00eb lidhje me\u00a0keq-perceptimin<\/a>\u00a0dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb mir\u00eb q\u00eb disa nga k\u00ebto elemente t\u00eb merren n\u00eb konsiderat\u00eb. P\u00ebr shembull, ne priremi t\u00eb shohim sjelljen ton\u00eb si t\u00eb kufizuar nga rrethanat tona, nd\u00ebrsa sjelljen e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve i\u2019a atribuojm\u00eb cil\u00ebsive dhe d\u00ebshirave t\u00eb tyre. \u201cUn\u00eb jam duke e b\u00ebr\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb sepse duhet ta b\u00ebj\u00eb, por ai po vepron n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb sepse i till\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb!\u201d Ky lloj perceptimi i ansh\u00ebm \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb recet\u00eb e fuqishme p\u00ebr spiralen e konfliktit, di\u00e7ka p\u00ebr t\u00eb cil\u00ebn teoricien\u00ebt e MN na kan\u00eb paralajm\u00ebruar prej koh\u00ebsh. Ndodh nj\u00eb mosmarr\u00ebveshje e vog\u00ebl dhe p\u00ebrpjekja e secilit person p\u00ebr t\u00eb mbrojtur pozicionin e tij\/saj fillon t\u00eb duket si nj\u00eb sulm agresiv dhe i pajustifikuesh\u00ebm. Dhe, k\u00ebshtu zbulojm\u00eb nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr koncept thelb\u00ebsor t\u00eb MN:\u00a0p\u00ebrshkall\u00ebzimin<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Shpresoj q\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb pik\u00eb disa lexues po tundin kok\u00ebn n\u00eb shenj\u00eb pajtimi. Kjo gj\u00eb m\u00eb sjell tek nj\u00eb koncept ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht i dobish\u00ebm n\u00eb MN:\u00a0paq\u00ebsimi<\/a>. Termi \u00ebsht\u00eb denigruar padrejt\u00ebsisht q\u00eb nga Munihu, por kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb strategji kritike p\u00ebr t\u00eb ruajtur \u00e7do marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnie romantike. Dhe, n\u00ebse nuk m\u00eb besoni mua, pyesni gruan time e cila m\u00eb b\u00ebri t\u00eb shkruaj k\u00ebt\u00eb paragraf.<\/p>\n

Andaj, ndoshta t\u00eb m\u00ebsuarit e disa teorive t\u00eb MN n\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb mund t\u00eb ndihmoj jet\u00ebn tuaj dashurore. N\u00ebse kjo ndodh dhe n\u00ebse jeni me fat t\u00eb gjeni personin e duhur, mund edhe t\u00eb vendosni q\u00eb t\u00eb institucionalizoni marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnien tuaj duke u martuar.<\/p>\n

Dhe pastaj, t\u00eb dy ju mund t\u00eb vendosni t\u00eb mobilizoni resurset tuaja dhe t\u00eb rrisni rrjetin tuaj t\u00eb aleanc\u00ebs \u2013 shembull, t\u00eb keni f\u00ebmij\u00eb \u2013 ose p\u00ebrmes metod\u00ebs tradicionale ose duke i adoptuar. N\u00ebse e b\u00ebni k\u00ebt\u00eb do t\u2019ju duhet t\u00eb m\u00ebsoni nj\u00eb grup krejt t\u00eb ri t\u00eb koncepteve t\u00eb MN si: parandalimi, detyrimi, \u201ctaktikat e sallamit\u201d dhe tej-p\u00ebrkushtimi. Por, ky \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb grup tjet\u00ebr problemesh dhe mbase do t\u00eb pres deri n\u00eb Dit\u00ebn e Baballar\u00ebve q\u00eb t\u00eb shkruaj p\u00ebr to.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Artikulli origjinal n\u00eb: \u201cForeign Policy<\/a>\u201d, i publikuar n\u00eb dat\u00ebn 13 Shkurt, 2009.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Nes\u00ebr \u00ebsht\u00eb dita e Sh\u00ebn Valentinit. Si nj\u00eb sh\u00ebrbim p\u00ebr publikun, un\u00eb dua t\u2019i rikujtoj lexuesve t\u00eb revist\u00ebs \u201cForeign Policy\u201d p\u00ebr njohurit\u00eb e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme q\u00eb mund t\u00eb ofroj teoria e Marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieve Nd\u00ebrkomb\u00ebtare (MN) p\u00ebr njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb kan\u00eb r\u00ebn\u00eb n\u00eb dashuri. Si fillim, \u00e7do partneritet romantik \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb thelb nj\u00eb aleanc\u00eb dhe\u00a0aleancat\u00a0jan\u00eb nj\u00eb nd\u00ebr konceptet thelb\u00ebsore […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":568,"featured_media":11676,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[1639,1497],"ppma_author":[2203],"class_list":["post-4817","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinion","tag-marredheniet","tag-nderkombetare"],"authors":[{"term_id":2203,"user_id":568,"is_guest":0,"slug":"stephen-walt","display_name":"Stephen Walt","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/1224-1637112621.jpg","url2x":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/1224-1637112621.jpg"},"user_url":"","last_name":"Walt","first_name":"Stephen","description":"Stephen M. Walt is a columnist at Foreign Policy and the Robert and Ren\u00e9e Belfer professor of international relations at Harvard University."}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4817","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/568"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4817"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4817\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11678,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4817\/revisions\/11678"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11676"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4817"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4817"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4817"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=4817"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}