{"id":5070,"date":"2016-05-31T16:31:54","date_gmt":"2016-05-31T14:31:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/?p=5070"},"modified":"2024-12-12T16:45:43","modified_gmt":"2024-12-12T14:45:43","slug":"perandoria-familjare","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/analize\/perandoria-familjare\/","title":{"rendered":"Perandoria familjare"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Di\u00e7ka nuk po shkon me perandorin\u00eb tuaj familjare. E mbaj mend q\u00eb edhe si f\u00ebmij\u00eb m\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb dukur nj\u00eb \u00e7udi e madhe, kur kam pa\u2019 sesi funksionon familja. Di\u00e7ka q\u00eb as sot akoma nuk mundem m\u2019e kuptu. Vet\u00ebm se po ajo \u00e7udi, e mb\u00ebshtjell\u00eb p\u00ebr bukuri me aq shum\u00eb t\u2019pav\u00ebrteta e siklete, m\u2019sillet e m\u2019pshtillet \u00e7do dit\u00eb n\u00ebp\u00ebr k\u00ebmb\u00eb. Pesh\u00ebn e dhimbjeve t’nan\u00ebs p.sh. mbas ndoj konflikti me bab\u00ebn edhe sot e ruej t\u2019fresk\u00ebt. Dikush mundet me than\u00eb q\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb ndoj emocion i kandsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr m\u2019e ruejt\u2019 t\u2019fresk\u00ebt ama un\u00eb nuk kam faj q\u00eb e mbaj mend mir\u00eb; e ndjej prap\u00eb, sa her\u00eb mendoj p\u00ebr at\u00eb koh\u00eb. E jam shum\u00eb e sigurt q\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00eb ndihen edhe shum\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb kur i kujtojn\u00eb z\u00ebnkat n\u2019familje, idhnimim, munges\u00ebn totale t\u00eb realitetit sepse gjithmon\u00eb neve f\u00ebmij\u00ebve na \u00ebsht\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb gjith\u00e7ka p\u00ebrpos t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebs. E na, me po at\u00eb tru t\u00eb kthjell\u00ebt q\u00eb e kan\u00eb krejt f\u00ebmij\u00ebt ndoshta nuk kemi mujt\u00eb me ju lan\u00eb emra gjanave, ama ju siguroj q\u00eb i kemi dit\u00eb krejt.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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Prej q\u00eb jam ba me mendu vet\u00eb, asgj\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb mesele nuk m\u00eb duket m\u00eb e \u00e7uditshme por thjesht jo e natyrshme. Pse njer\u00ebzit kan\u00eb aq shum\u00eb prirje dhe e lan\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u shtir\u00eb, duke qen\u00eb n\u00eb deficit t\u00eb thell\u00eb t\u00eb autenticitetit, \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebr me u studiu. Prandaj po. Un\u00eb mendoj q\u00eb monogamia dhe koncepti n\u00eb familje, ashtu si e perceptojn\u00eb shumica \u00ebsht\u00eb jonatyral, \u00ebsht\u00eb\u00a0iluzion.<\/p>\n

\u00cbsht\u00eb ide e futun n\u2019kulturat e ndryshme t\u2019njer\u00ebzimit kinse n\u00eb t\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00eb rendi ma t\u00eb drejt\u00eb shoqnor.\u00a0P\u00ebr dik\u00eb, n\u00eb nj\u00eb koh\u00eb a n\u00eb ndonj\u00eb vend t\u00eb shkret\u00eb edhe pa perspektiv\u00eb, kjo shpikje mundet me u konsideru arritja ma e madhe e humanoid\u00ebve. Ndoshta edhe mund t\u00eb ken\u00eb pasur t\u00eb drejt\u00eb kur k\u00ebsaj ia bashkangjit\u00eb mosbarazin\u00eb e luft\u00ebn e p\u00ebrjetshme gjinore po edhe gra t\u2019sfilituna e t\u2019d\u00ebrrmueme nga jeta, p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilat, nj\u00eb burr\u00eb q\u00eb do t\u2019i siguronte nj\u00eb kafshat\u00eb buke p\u00ebr t\u00eb dhe foshnjen, do t\u00eb ishte premis\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Mir\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb e mor\u00ebm vesh. Hajde tash po kthehem te e sotmja. K\u00ebtu, n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb moment, e po flasim pak p\u00ebr nj\u00eb vet\u00ebdije tjet\u00ebr, nj\u00eb ide tjet\u00ebr, ve\u00e7 nj\u00eb propozim krejt t\u2019vog\u00ebl e shum\u00eb t\u2019logjiksh\u00ebm.\u00a0\u00c7ka n\u00ebse kishim mujt\u00eb me jetu ndryshe? \u00c7ka n\u00ebse po? \u00c7ka n\u00ebse nuk kishim me u tregu aq shpirtvegj\u00ebl e mendjembyllun tuj mendu q\u00eb njer\u00ebzit edhe jeta nuk ndryshon.\u00a0E di q\u00eb nuk po them kurgja t\u00eb re?\u00a0E di q\u00eb krejt ju e dini q\u00eb jeta e sidomos njer\u00ebzit ndryshojn\u00eb, bile koxha shpesh. Prandaj jemi njer\u00ebz. Rand\u00ebsia e t\u00eb kuptuemit t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj matematike kaq t\u00eb thjesht\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb kruciale.\u00a0Kurgjo kjo, sa \u00ebsht\u00eb hala ma e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme me pranu e me akceptu ndryshimin.\u00a0Me hjek\u00eb dor\u00eb prej egoizmit, tekave e konsekuencave imagjinare q\u00eb vijn\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb prej njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb cil\u00ebt nuk jan\u00eb ti. Nuk jan\u00eb as f\u00ebmija yt.\u00a0\u00c7ka n\u00ebse na e sidomos grat\u00eb tona, kishin me hjek\u00eb dor\u00eb prej frik\u00ebs, q\u00eb edhe ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb skajshm\u00ebrisht imagjinative, e mbjellun padrejt\u00ebsisht si ide n\u2019kokat tona si shum\u00eb dogma tjera prej t\u00eb cilave nuk mundemi me u \u00e7liru kurr\u00eb.<\/p>\n

\u00c7ka n\u00ebse e lirojm\u00eb veten nj\u00eb her\u00eb e p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb prej komplekseve, ides\u00eb s\u00eb vetmis\u00eb, \u00e7ka n\u00ebse ia japim vetes, zemr\u00ebs e mendjes nj\u00eb mund\u00ebsi p\u00ebr me marr\u00eb frym\u00eb lirsh\u00ebm. \u00c7ka n\u00ebse pushojm\u00eb me i dhan\u00eb vetes gjithmon\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00eb n\u00eb procesin e rob\u00ebrimit t\u00eb tjetrit, \u00e7ka n\u00ebse e kuptojm\u00eb q\u00eb bota nuk na takon e secili njeri i takon vet\u00ebm vetes s\u00eb vet. \u00c7ka n\u00ebse\u2026 Pse mendoni q\u00eb rruga drejt \u00e7lirimit \u00ebsht\u00eb kaq e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb, obsesionet e idet\u00eb e t\u00eb jetuemit n\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb rreth vicioz plot mashtrime e nderskamca iu \u00ebsht\u00eb ngjitur e pjekur p\u00ebr misht\u00eb, besomni. Dhe kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb fatkeq\u00ebsia ma e madhe.\u00a0Edhe keni me vazhdu, e di, edhe pse e keni kuptu q\u00eb di\u00e7ka nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb kah shkon.\u00a0Keni me vazhdu prap\u00eb me u sorollat\u00eb sheshit me fytyra t\u2019zbehta nga pagjum\u00ebsia tuj sorollat\u00eb edhe karrocat e tu\u2019 mendu a thu me k\u00eb e ka kalu nat\u00ebn mbram\u00eb?\u00a0E skandali ma i madh \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb mundoheni me u masku si me grim ashtu edhe me buz\u00ebqeshje false tuj u dasht\u00eb me \u00e7do kusht me i tregu bot\u00ebs sa i\/e lumtur je ti n\u00eb perandorin\u00eb tande t\u2019vog\u00ebl familjare.<\/p>\n

Jo, jo. Un\u00eb po ju ndjej, e po e di sakt\u00eb qysh po ndiheni. Po e ndjej sikletin e dhimbjen, e po ma ktheni prap\u00eb f\u00ebminin\u00eb e mjegull\u00ebn e at\u00ebhershme, pas mosmarr\u00ebveshjeve t\u00eb prind\u00ebrve t\u2019mi.<\/p>\n

Edhe nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr propozim t\u00eb vog\u00ebl e kisha dhan\u00eb p\u00ebr krejt grat\u00eb e femrat, se m\u2019duket q\u00eb krejt ky shkrim doli q\u00eb t\u2019u drejtohet n\u00eb ve\u00e7anti atyre.\u00a0Fem\u00ebr jam vet\u00eb dhe vet\u00ebm duke qen\u00eb nj\u00eb e till\u00eb mundesh me e njoft\u00eb me rranj\u00eb forc\u00ebn tande t\u2019pakufishme dhe mund\u00ebsit\u00eb e m\u00ebdhaja p\u00ebr ndryshim n\u00eb \u00e7do pore t\u2019jet\u00ebs.\u00a0Kur kemi m\u00ebsu histori, dikund n\u00eb mesin e shum\u00eb m\u00ebsimeve krejt pa lidhje, \u00e7udit\u00ebrisht disa detaje m\u2019kujtohen dhe m\u2019kan\u00eb magjeps\u00eb qysh at\u00ebher\u00eb. Vjen tamam prej paragrafeve t\u00eb pakt\u00eb kur flitet p\u00ebr matriarkatin. E po sa p\u00ebrmendet matriarkati menj\u00ebher\u00eb n\u2019mendje m\u00eb vijn\u00eb legjendat e Amazonave*.\u00a0Ma thot\u00eb mendja dhe besoj q\u00eb sikur bota mos t\u00eb rrotullohej mbrapsht nga at\u00ebher\u00eb, un\u00eb qe besa nuk e kisha pas\u2019 fare t\u00eb nevojshme me shkru p\u00ebr k\u00ebto probleme kaq banale n\u00eb dukje por t\u00eb thella substancialisht. Q\u00eb do t\u00eb thot\u00eb: n\u00ebse v\u00ebrtet e ndjeni nevoj\u00ebn e riprodhimit, kontributin p\u00ebr shtimin e popullsis\u00eb aman llogariteni ma mir\u00eb dhe vet\u00ebm me kalemin tuaj.<\/p>\n

Nuk \u00e7ohet femra me e maru nj\u00eb jet\u00eb me harxhin e dhuruesit t\u00eb sperm\u00ebs. Krejt e drejt\u00eb dhe legjitime \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00ebnyra e mendimit tuaj, edhe vendosja e rregullave t\u00eb loj\u00ebs n\u00eb fillim por ama kur partner\u00ebt n\u00eb fjal\u00eb po ju dezertojn\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb arsye apo tjet\u00ebr, po frustroheni. Edhe s\u2019keni hi\u00e7 faj ama as ata vet\u00eb nuk kan\u00eb faj. E ata prej t\u00eb cil\u00ebve na presim shum\u00eb, jan\u00eb t\u00eb vegj\u00ebl. E keni rastin ju, sot, me i ruejt\u00eb prej nj\u00eb ndjenje t\u00eb till\u00eb kaq t\u2019parehatshme sa t\u00eb smun\u2019, q\u00eb ne sot pothuajse shumica e ndjejm\u00eb. Jepjani vet\u00ebm realitetin. P\u00ebrplasjani n\u2019fytyr\u00eb. Mos i viktimizoni e p\u00ebrdorni p\u00ebr interesa minore t\u00eb pasiguris\u00eb e munges\u00ebs s\u00eb identitetit tuaj. Ve\u00e7 k\u00ebshtu i bani t\u2019fort\u00eb e t\u2019gatsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr nj\u00eb jet\u00eb pa dogma, pa gjana fikse pa shtr\u00ebngime t\u2019shpirtit, pa idena t\u00eb tejkalueme e pa mend\u00ebsi mesjetare. Lirojini. Sepse edhe vet\u00eb e dini mir\u00eb q\u00eb di\u00e7ka nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb kah shkon me perandorin\u00eb tuaj familjare, t\u2019rrenave.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Di\u00e7ka nuk po shkon me perandorin\u00eb tuaj familjare. E mbaj mend q\u00eb edhe si f\u00ebmij\u00eb m\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb dukur nj\u00eb \u00e7udi e madhe, kur kam pa\u2019 sesi funksionon familja. Di\u00e7ka q\u00eb as sot akoma nuk mundem m\u2019e kuptu. Vet\u00ebm se po ajo \u00e7udi, e mb\u00ebshtjell\u00eb p\u00ebr bukuri me aq shum\u00eb t\u2019pav\u00ebrteta e siklete, m\u2019sillet e m\u2019pshtillet […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":262,"featured_media":11007,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[1713,991],"ppma_author":[2032],"class_list":["post-5070","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-analize","tag-familja","tag-shoqeria"],"authors":[{"term_id":2032,"user_id":262,"is_guest":0,"slug":"driada-matoshi","display_name":"Driada Matoshi","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/driada-matoshi-e1734014657759.jpg","url2x":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/driada-matoshi-e1734014657759.jpg"},"user_url":"","last_name":"Matoshi","first_name":"Driada","description":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5070","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/262"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5070"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5070\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11009,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5070\/revisions\/11009"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11007"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5070"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5070"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5070"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=5070"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}