{"id":5184,"date":"2016-07-14T13:05:55","date_gmt":"2016-07-14T11:05:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/?p=5184"},"modified":"2024-12-13T15:22:41","modified_gmt":"2024-12-13T13:22:41","slug":"ta-thyejme-heshtjen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/analize\/ta-thyejme-heshtjen\/","title":{"rendered":"Ta thyejm\u00eb heshtjen!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Mua m\u00eb kan\u00eb p\u00ebrdhunuar. Me fjal\u00eb. Shum\u00eb her\u00eb. Pothuajse secil\u00ebn her\u00eb q\u00eb eci vet\u00ebm rrug\u00ebve t\u00eb Prishtin\u00ebs. Mjafton t\u00eb jesh grua dhe t\u00eb objektifikojn\u00eb. Dhe p\u00ebrnj\u00ebher\u00eb kalimthi, her\u00eb me z\u00eb p\u00ebshp\u00ebrit\u00ebs e her\u00eb me z\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb n\u00eb drejtimin t\u00ebnd t\u00eb godasin, t\u00eb sulmojn\u00eb me fjal\u00eb, me shprehjet m\u00eb t\u00eb ndyra, fantazit\u00eb m\u00eb fetishiste q\u00eb nuk mundesh dot as t\u2019i imagjinosh. Shpeshher\u00eb mundohen t\u00eb t\u00eb afrohen sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb q\u00eb idet\u00eb se \u00e7far\u00eb do t\u00eb b\u00ebnin me trupin t\u00ebnd t\u2019i p\u00ebshp\u00ebritin n\u00eb vesh. T\u00eb tjer\u00ebt i bien boris\u00eb s\u00eb vetur\u00ebs, hapin dritaret dhe e p\u00ebrshtatin shpejt\u00ebsin\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb mund t\u2019i p\u00ebrcjellin hapat e tu. Ndihesh e pambrojtur. Ta cenojn\u00eb integritetin dhe sigurin\u00eb t\u00ebnde. T\u00eb shkaktojn\u00eb neveri dhe frik\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Po \u00e7far\u00eb ndodh kur ngacmuesve u rritet vet\u00ebbesimit dhe fjal\u00ebt i kthejn\u00eb n\u00eb vepra? Kur t\u00eb p\u00ebrcjellin, kur tentojn\u00eb t\u00eb t\u00eb mb\u00ebshtesin p\u00ebr muri, t\u00eb t\u00eb prekin, t\u00eb t\u00eb shtyjn\u00eb p\u00ebrtok\u00eb me dhun\u00eb. \u00c7far\u00eb ndodh at\u00ebher\u00eb kur ngacmimi seksual kalon n\u00eb sulm seksual? Sa her\u00eb ke p\u00ebrshpejtuar hapat e tu dhe zemra t\u00eb ka rrahur deri n\u00eb fyt, sepse dikush t\u00eb ka ndjekur?<\/span><\/p>\n

E n\u00ebse ndodh q\u00eb dikush t\u00eb sulmon, t\u00eb prek\u00eb pa p\u00eblqimin t\u00ebnd dhe ti arrin t\u00eb ik\u00ebsh nga ajo situat\u00eb, a e sheh veten tu\u2019 u mendu se ku ke gabu? A i ke dhan\u00eb sulmuesit nj\u00eb sinjal q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb keqkuptu? A mos je vesh\u00eb n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb provokative? A mos e bart nj\u00eb pjes\u00eb t\u00eb fajit edhe ti? PSE ti si viktim\u00eb qoft\u00eb edhe n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb pavet\u00ebdijshme duhesh me e k\u00ebrku fajin te ti?<\/span><\/p>\n

Nuk ka r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi n\u00ebse ke vesh\u00eb fund apo pantallona, n\u00ebse i ke 17 apo 35 vjet, nuk ka r\u00ebnd\u00ebsi n\u00ebse i ke flok\u00ebt e gjata apo t\u00eb shkurtra, n\u00ebse ke v\u00ebn\u00eb buz\u00ebkuq apo jo. TI asnj\u00ebher\u00eb dhe n\u00eb asnj\u00eb rrethan\u00eb nuk ke faj!<\/span><\/p>\n

T\u00eb menduarit n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb ta ka imponu shoq\u00ebria. Gjat\u00eb gjith\u00eb adoleshenc\u00ebs dhe p\u00ebrtej ke d\u00ebgjuar fjali si \u201eKur t\u00eb vishesh me taka t\u00eb larta e me fund t\u00eb shkurt\u00ebr, vet\u00eb e ke lyp\u00eb\u201c \u201eP\u00ebr \u00e7ka do q\u00eb t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb pas or\u00ebs 22 faji \u00ebsht\u00eb i yti!\u201c \u201eNuk ke pse ec\u00eb nat\u00ebn vet\u00ebm\u201c \u201cN\u00ebse i jep dikujt shkas me mendu q\u00eb mundet me t\u00eb nguc\u00eb ose me k\u00ebrku ma shum\u00eb prej teje \u2013 faji \u00ebsht\u00eb te ti, e jo te ai.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Zana \u00ebsht\u00eb sulmuar n\u00eb hyrjen e banes\u00ebs s\u00eb saj. Sulmuesi e ka shty p\u00ebrtok\u00eb nga mbrapa, duke ia pamund\u00ebsuar \u00e7do l\u00ebvizje, duke e prekur n\u00eb pjes\u00ebt intime me dhun\u00eb, kund\u00ebr d\u00ebshir\u00ebs saj. Zadna nuk e ka par\u00eb sulmuesin, pra as q\u00eb do t\u00eb mund ta p\u00ebrshkruante at\u00eb. E \u00e7\u2019t\u2019i thoshte policis\u00eb? Ajo ka vendosur t\u00eb hesht\u00eb p\u00ebr rastin.<\/span><\/p>\n

Edona ka qen\u00eb vet\u00ebm n\u00eb vetur\u00eb me kolegun e saj, kur ai e ka mbyll\u00eb vetur\u00ebn nga brenda dhe ka filluar ta prek\u00eb at\u00eb kund\u00ebr d\u00ebshir\u00ebs saj. Edona \u00ebsht\u00eb e martuar. Si ta denonconte ajo kolegun n\u00eb polici, kur t\u00eb gjith\u00eb do ta drejtonin gishtin nga ajo? Po t\u00eb shkonte n\u00eb polici do e vinte n\u00eb loj\u00eb martes\u00ebn. Ajo ka vendosur t\u00eb hesht\u00eb p\u00ebr rastin.<\/span><\/p>\n

Kaltrina e ka humbur vendin e pun\u00ebs, sepse ka refuzuar ta kaloj\u00eb nat\u00ebn me eprorin e saj sa ishin n\u00eb nj\u00eb udh\u00ebtim zyrtar jasht\u00eb vendit. Eprori i Kaltrin\u00ebs \u00ebsht\u00eb figur\u00eb e njohur publike. Kush do i besonte Kaltrin\u00ebs? Edhe Kaltrina vazhdon t\u00eb hesht\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n

Pse i heshtim rastet?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb vet\u00ebm qasja e mbrapsht\u00eb e shoq\u00ebris\u00eb q\u00eb i arsyeton veprimet e djemve dhe t\u00eb burrave dhe e largon p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsin\u00eb nga ta, si\u00e7 e p\u00ebrshkruan Dita Dobranja n\u00eb shkrimin e saj<\/a>, por n\u00eb rastet e p\u00ebrjetimit t\u00eb sulmit seksual apo t\u00eb p\u00ebrdhunimit\u00a0\u00ebsht\u00eb edhe frika nga damkosja q\u00eb vjen prej shoq\u00ebris\u00eb dhe familjes. Frika nga viktimizimi i dyfisht\u00eb ua v\u00ebshtir\u00ebson grave q\u00eb p\u00ebrjetojn\u00eb dhun\u00eb seksuale ta marrin guximin t\u2019i raportojn\u00eb rastet n\u00eb polici.<\/span><\/p>\n

N\u00eb vitin 2015, n\u00eb Policin\u00eb e Kosov\u00ebs jan\u00eb b\u00ebr\u00eb 54 kall\u00ebzime penale p\u00ebr sulm seksual, nd\u00ebrsa 37 kall\u00ebzime penale p\u00ebr dhunim (31 raste t\u00eb dhunimit dhe 6 raste t\u00eb mbetura n\u00eb tentativ\u00eb).\u00a0N\u00ebse konsiderojm\u00eb q\u00eb sulmet seksuale dhe rastet e dhunimit mbesin t\u00eb paraportuara, statistikat p\u00ebr rastet q\u00eb denoncohen n\u00eb polici nuk na japin as p\u00ebr s\u00eb af\u00ebrmi nj\u00eb pasqyr\u00eb t\u00eb gjendjes reale.<\/span><\/p>\n

Prandaj duhet t\u00eb flasim m\u00eb shum\u00eb p\u00ebr ngacmimet seksuale, p\u00ebr sulmet seksuale p\u00ebr rastet e dhunimeve, por edhe p\u00ebr keqp\u00ebrdorimet e shumta seksuale q\u00eb ndodhin nga persona q\u00eb keqp\u00ebrdorin pozit\u00ebn, autoritetin apo profesionin e tyre.<\/span><\/p>\n

N\u00ebse filloni t\u00eb flisni p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb tem\u00eb e t’i inkurajoni t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt q\u00eb t\u00eb flasin hapur me ju, do t\u00eb habiteni sa raste kan\u00eb ndodhur n\u00eb rrethin tuaj. Ta inkurajojm\u00eb nj\u00ebri tjetrin q\u00eb t\u00eb mos heshtim.<\/span><\/p>\n

P\u00ebr ta tejkaluar m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn e t\u00eb menduarit se “burrat duhet shfaj\u00ebsohen dhe viktimat t\u00eb faj\u00ebsohen”, duhet q\u00eb ky diskutim t\u00eb b\u00ebhet n\u00eb radh\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb me djem e me burra. \u00a0Viktimizimi i dyfisht\u00eb dhe stigmatizimi i viktimave t\u00eb luftohet nga t\u00eb gjith\u00eb dhe n\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha nivelet. Nuk duhet q\u00eb kjo t\u00eb mbetet vet\u00ebm luft\u00eb e feminist\u00ebve dhe aktivisteve.<\/span><\/p>\n

Sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb z\u00ebr\u00eb vend kjo tem\u00eb n\u00eb diskursin publik, aq m\u00eb shum\u00eb kuraj\u00eb do u jepet viktimat q\u00eb t\u00eb raportojn\u00eb rastet e tyre n\u00eb polici dhe t\u2019i shkojn\u00eb procesit deri n\u00eb fund. Duke e tematizuar dhun\u00ebn seksuale ndaj grave n\u00eb opinionin publik, do t\u00eb ket\u00eb vet\u00ebdijesim q\u00eb aktet seksuale pa pajtimin e personit tjet\u00ebr paraqesin krim, e jo kompliment. Krim q\u00eb duhet t\u00eb denoncohet, t\u00eb d\u00ebnohet dhe t\u00eb mos tolerohet n\u00eb shoq\u00ebrin\u00eb ton\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mua m\u00eb kan\u00eb p\u00ebrdhunuar. Me fjal\u00eb. Shum\u00eb her\u00eb. Pothuajse secil\u00ebn her\u00eb q\u00eb eci vet\u00ebm rrug\u00ebve t\u00eb Prishtin\u00ebs. Mjafton t\u00eb jesh grua dhe t\u00eb objektifikojn\u00eb. Dhe p\u00ebrnj\u00ebher\u00eb kalimthi, her\u00eb me z\u00eb p\u00ebshp\u00ebrit\u00ebs e her\u00eb me z\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb n\u00eb drejtimin t\u00ebnd t\u00eb godasin, t\u00eb sulmojn\u00eb me fjal\u00eb, me shprehjet m\u00eb t\u00eb ndyra, fantazit\u00eb m\u00eb fetishiste q\u00eb […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":543,"featured_media":11067,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"ppma_author":[2027],"class_list":["post-5184","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-analize"],"authors":[{"term_id":2027,"user_id":543,"is_guest":0,"slug":"nora-hasani","display_name":"Nora Hasani Llapashtica","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/462555188_936747311221714_20195046760660311_n.png","url2x":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/12\/462555188_936747311221714_20195046760660311_n.png"},"user_url":"","last_name":"Hasani Llapashtica","first_name":"Nora","description":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5184","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/543"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5184"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5184\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11068,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5184\/revisions\/11068"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11067"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5184"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5184"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5184"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=5184"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}