{"id":6037,"date":"2021-12-24T15:54:24","date_gmt":"2021-12-24T13:54:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/?p=6037"},"modified":"2024-10-14T15:58:49","modified_gmt":"2024-10-14T13:58:49","slug":"dashnia-jo-por-gjuha-vret","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/opinion\/dashnia-jo-por-gjuha-vret\/","title":{"rendered":"Dashnia jo, por gjuha vret!"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Asht trishtuse q\u00eb gati se \u00e7do dit\u00eb kur hap rrjetet me shiku se \u00e7ka po ndodh, e has edhe nji ngacmim, edhe nj\u00eb p\u00ebrdhunim, edhe nji vdekje\u2026 Pasiguria q\u00eb po krijohet me dal edhe n\u2019sokak asht prej gjanave ma trishtuese q\u00eb nji shoqni e jona mundet me e servu. Po pse jemi kshtu, e pse vazhdimisht burrat shqiptar\u00eb, jo t\u00eb gjith\u00eb por pjesa d\u00ebrmuese, jan\u00eb kaq t\u00eb dob\u00ebt saq\u00eb i vetmi sen q\u00eb din\u00eb me bo asht me ngrit dor\u00eb, me shajt \u201clop\u00eb\u201d ni grue, me thon\u00eb \u201ce ka lyp\u201d\u2026 etj.<\/p>\n

Gjuha formon mend\u00ebsin\u00eb dhe kjo nuk do as diskutim. N\u00ebse ve\u00e7 pak analizojm\u00eb se si rriten djemt\u00eb shqiptar\u00eb, mundemi me e kuptu k\u00ebt\u00eb lloj \u00e7mendunie q\u00eb po\u00a0 ndodh koh\u00ebve t\u00eb fundit, pak ma n\u2019mejdan, se jo q\u00eb nuk kan\u00eb ndodh edhe ma her\u00ebt, po ka kris dajaki e kushi nuk ka guxu me fol.<\/p>\n

Prej foshnj\u00ebris\u00eb ekzistojn\u00eb dy lloj edukata q\u00eb u jepen fmive, duke fillu prej ngjyrave. Pink p\u00ebr \u00e7ika, kalt\u00ebr p\u00ebr djem. N\u00eb bofsh me lujt me naj traktor ose kerr si \u00e7ik\u00eb, ose me naj kukull si djal\u00eb vaj halli p\u00ebr ty\u2026 paramendo me t\u2019p\u00eblqy defi ty si djal\u00eb?<\/p>\n

Duke e anashkalu k\u00ebt\u00eb pjes\u00eb, po q\u00eb asht pjesa ma e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme e foshnj\u00ebris\u00eb, shpesh i d\u00ebgjojm\u00eb familjar\u00ebt duke i pyt\u00eb djemt\u00eb sa kashorja \u201ca ke gjet nuse\u201d? Eksperiencat, llumi i patriarkalizmit n\u00eb familjet shqiptare asht edhe ma i keq kur krejt personalitetin e nji djali e fokusojn\u00eb n\u00eb organ, si p.sh. \u201cku e ki l*cin?\u201d Ka pas\u00eb raste kur kom pa q\u00eb jo ve\u00e7 burra, por edhe gra t\u2019cilave patriarkalizmi u osht mbjell\u00eb n\u00eb kok\u00eb, i ngreshin fmit\u00eb me i pyt\u00eb \u201ca tu ka rrit l*ci?\u201d Ritheksimi i vazhduesh\u00ebm i organit gjenital te djemt\u00eb shqiptar\u00eb p\u00ebrmes nj\u00eb gjuhe lavd\u00ebruese asht prej gjanave ma t\u2019ulta q\u00eb munden me ndodh.<\/p>\n

Djemt duke i pyt\u00eb a ju ka rrit e vajzave duke ua mshef se nuk bon, osht marre. Marrja si koncept n\u00eb familjet shqiptare thelbin e ka kryek\u00ebput n\u00eb patriarkaliz\u00ebm, ku si koncept asht p\u00ebrdor ve\u00e7 p\u00ebr cika e asnj\u00ebher\u00eb p\u00ebr djem. N\u00ebse nj\u00eb \u00e7ik\u00eb ka me kalu me nji djal\u00eb osht kan\u00eb marre, ama n\u00ebse nji djal\u00eb ka kalu me shum\u00eb \u00e7ika \u201cani \u00e7ka, djal\u00eb osht, i ka hije.\u201d Pra gjuha t\u00eb cil\u00ebn e p\u00ebrdorim, shprehjet t\u00eb cilat ua drejtojm\u00eb ve\u00e7as djemve e ve\u00e7as \u00e7ikave, e ka sjell\u00eb situat\u00ebn t\u00eb cil\u00ebn sot e shohim.<\/p>\n

Dashnia osht marre<\/strong><\/p>\n

Marre nuk u kon me ia theksu organin gjenital, me ia p\u00ebrmen djalit nusen hala pa fillu shkrim-leximin, po marre osht me fol p\u00ebr dashni. N\u00eb krejt familjet shqiptare, na kan\u00eb rras\u00eb me fantazia se qysh kena ardh\u00eb n\u00eb jet\u00eb. Mshefja e aspektit seksual si proces i pandam\u00eb i jet\u00ebs osht prej gabimeve q\u00eb vazhdojn\u00eb me i bo familjet shqiptare. Kjo nuk dometh\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb f\u00ebmis\u00eb duhet t\u2019i demonstrohet procesi, por p\u00ebrderisa si tem\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb asnj\u00ebher\u00eb prezente n\u00eb familje, libido vet\u00ebm sa shkon dhe rritet, shtypet dhe dikur plas\u2026 dhe analizoni shprehjet \u201cni nuse t\u2019mir\u00eb, t\u2019madhe, tbardh\u00eb\u201d, kryek\u00ebput dashnia si objekt, si pamje.<\/p>\n

Edhe asnj\u00ebher\u00eb nuk ka qen\u00eb NJ\u00cb SHOQE P\u00cbR JET\u00cb POR NJ\u00cb NUSE! Kurse p\u00ebr \u00e7ika \u201cDERA E HUJ\u201d si sinonim i martes\u00ebs. Pallavra sa me dasht\u00eb, por q\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb d\u00ebmtuarit n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb mes jan\u00eb djemt\u00eb prej nga m\u00eb t\u00eb vujtunat jan\u00eb \u00e7ikat e grat\u00eb. Nj\u00eb libido i shtypun, nj\u00eb djalit q\u00eb pand\u00ebrprer\u00eb dashnia i asht paraqit si objekt, si PRON\u00cb, tendenca p\u00ebr me ushtru shtazoren asht m\u00eb se e pritun. Sepse nj\u00eb djal\u00eb duhet me qen\u00eb i fort\u00eb, i matun, mos me shfaq\u00eb ndjenja sepse humb burr\u00ebrin\u00eb edhe me rraf grun\u00eb najhere osht n\u2019rregull, se gruja e lyp. Shumica e djemve shqiptar\u00eb kan\u00eb shum\u00eb plag\u00eb, kthehen n\u00eb narcist\u00eb t\u00eb papam\u00eb sepse dashnia q\u00eb u asht tregu si fmi nuk i kap\u00ebrcen kufijt\u00eb e nuses, objektivizmit t\u00eb trupit t\u00eb femn\u00ebs e kshtu me radh\u00eb.<\/p>\n

Gjuha<\/strong><\/p>\n

N\u00eb sip\u00ebrfaqe disa shprehje duken shum\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme, por ato jetojn\u00eb n\u00ebn vet\u00ebdijen e shum\u00eb prej nesh. Fakti q\u00eb sot kemi shum\u00eb abuzime, ngacmime, vrasje, asht pik\u00ebrisht prej ides\u00eb se nj\u00eb burr\u00eb munet me e rraf nj\u00eb grua, mundet me e posht\u00ebru se ajo \u201cosht lop\u00eb,\u201d se ajo duhet me iu n\u00ebnshtru urdhnave sepse ai \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201cburri\u201d, e k\u00ebshtu me radh\u00eb.<\/p>\n

\u201cA e ke nxan naj fem\u00ebn?\u201d osht nj\u00eb prej shprehjeve q\u00eb e d\u00ebgjojm\u00eb shpesh drejtuar djemve. \u201cNxanja\u201d shpesh barazohet me n\u00ebnshtrim, pron\u00eb e imja. Me nxan\u00eb zakonisht bie n\u00eb barazim me gjahun. Shpesh n\u2019shoqnin\u00eb ton\u00eb i d\u00ebgjojm\u00eb t\u2019u than\u00eb \u201cpo dal me gjujt\u201d n\u00eb kuptimin e nxanjes s\u00eb nj\u00eb \u00e7ike n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb rast. Ose \u201ca nxone naj sen\u201d? Kur i shohim e i d\u00ebgjojm\u00eb nga larg na duken gjana t\u00eb thjeshta q\u00eb nuk \u00e7ojn\u00eb shum\u00eb pesh\u00eb, por problem thellohet pik\u00ebrisht me m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn e t\u00eb shprehunit ton\u00eb. N\u00ebse n\u00eb vend t\u00eb \u201ca nxone naj sen\u201d kishim pyt\u00eb \u201ca u njoftove me dik\u00eb\u201d, qasja ndaj \u00e7ikave e grave kish me ndryshu. Truni yn\u00eb percepton me \u00e7ka e mbushim ne dhe gjuha osht mjeti kryesor q\u00eb shpie n\u00eb zhvillim t\u00eb empatis\u00eb, pranimit, respketimit dhe mbi t\u00eb gjitha t\u00eb kuptuarit e dashuris\u00eb si nj\u00eb gjendje shpirt\u00ebrore.<\/p>\n

A e keni vrejt\u00eb qysh shum\u00eb shpesh shum\u00eb djem e burra zg\u00ebrdhihen kur nji grue e ngre zanin p\u00ebr padrejt\u00ebsi? Sepse pik\u00ebrisht ajo zg\u00ebrdhirje asht pasiguria, mosnjohja e gruas si gru po si objekt, egoizmi dhe komforti q\u00eb ve\u00e7 burrat duhen me e pas\u00eb…<\/p>\n

Abuzimet, ngacmimet, vrasjet kan\u00eb me vazhdu n\u00ebse shoqnia jon\u00eb vazhdon me i eduku djemt\u00eb n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb. P\u00ebrderisa dashnia vazhdon t\u00eb paraqitet si pron\u00eb, e nxonme, dhe asnj\u00ebher\u00eb mir\u00ebkuptim, respekt, shoq\u00ebri, ne kemi me i vujt\u00eb pasojat e edhe shum\u00eb rasteve t\u00eb tjera.<\/p>\n

N\u00ebse sot n\u00eb as edhe nj\u00eb vend nuk jemi t\u00eb sigurta, kjo padyshim osht prej m\u00ebnyr\u00ebs se qysh edukohen djemt\u00eb dhe gjuha e cila p\u00ebrdoret me vite n\u00eb familjet tona.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

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24 dhjetor 2021<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Asht trishtuse q\u00eb gati se \u00e7do dit\u00eb kur hap rrjetet me shiku se \u00e7ka po ndodh, e has edhe nji ngacmim, edhe nj\u00eb p\u00ebrdhunim, edhe nji vdekje\u2026 Pasiguria q\u00eb po krijohet me dal edhe n\u2019sokak asht prej gjanave ma trishtuese q\u00eb nji shoqni e jona mundet me e servu. Po pse jemi kshtu, e pse […]<\/p>","protected":false},"author":479,"featured_media":7966,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[991,1007,1009],"ppma_author":[1279],"class_list":["post-6037","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinion","tag-shoqeria","tag-te-drejtat-e-grave","tag-te-drejtat-e-njeriut"],"authors":[{"term_id":1279,"user_id":479,"is_guest":0,"slug":"shaha-hyseni","display_name":"Shaha Hyseni","avatar_url":{"url":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/Shaha-Hyseni.jpeg","url2x":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/10\/Shaha-Hyseni.jpeg"},"user_url":"","last_name":"Hyseni","first_name":"Shaha","description":""}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6037","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/479"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6037"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6037\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8291,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6037\/revisions\/8291"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7966"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6037"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6037"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6037"},{"taxonomy":"author","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sbunker.org\/sr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/ppma_author?post=6037"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}